Ah oui, ça c'est vrai. Life is so totally one rocking and completely unpredictable bitch. Ok, why am I saying something of this sort - ain't I supposed to be feminist incarnate? Even my students think so now...jesus, pray tell me what vibes I emanate that people who barely know me merrily label me feminist and manage to find enough supporting evidence for it as well! Ok digressing...so yeah, perhaps life ain't a bitch, but it sure as hell is anything but a smooth ride.
It's been one insane week - have gone from working 7 days a week, to working only weekends - I'm busier on weekends now, having accepted to take on the new kids course for the school session, but haven't a single class during the week. The whole idea of all those many idle hours has all but driven me up the wall in despair - free time is something I have come to fear, for it means too much time to think, and I fear my thoughts. Alot. So, after relaxing and restoring my energy levels for a fortnight, I intend to start exploring options - if Geetanjali can't teach, she will study. :-)
I've experienced one crazy gamut of emotions in this one short week - have gone from content and satisfied to worried sick, from exhilarated to down-right depressed, from wickedly naughty and cheeky to plain prosaic and as dull and lifeless as I could get, have given vent to pent-up emotions and exercised an iron-control over them - wondering if I've let something get out of control and hoping it doesn't blow up in my face as last night did! The whole week sure took it's toll on me. By Saturday night I was oh-so-close to exploding, and this with best buddy in town and sudden plans to hit the town (instead of the quiet dinner I'd planned and hope for) with people I didn't want witnessing me at my nastiest, weakest best when all I want to do is lash out blindly and hurt someone just as much as I am hurting inside. Boy, was my head a cauldron of wild emotions last night - still amazed at how I survived the night!
A quieter Sunday has restored the calm and peace inside me - merci bon dieu. Class was great fun today - I'd never imagined that I'd get such pleasure from teaching, and it continues to amaze me with it's healing powers. It sure as hell works wonders for my messed up brain! Followed up class with a quiet half-n-hour by myself (after oh-so-long) sipping cappucino and reading Greek plays, till friend joined me...had a nice, lazy lunch that left me satiated and lazier. Sunday siesta after a long long time - it's been a nice, lazy Sunday and much as I'd like to follow it up with a nicer, lazier Monday there are things that must be taken care of as soon as possible.
Current Music :- Donna Summer - Hot Stuff, This Time I Know It's For Real. Go West - King of Wishful Thinking, Faithful Retro Music Rocks! :-)
Current Book :- Still reading Euripedes' plays - slower progress this time, but satisfying nevertheless.
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1 comment:
wow!! quite some emotions thr!!!
hmmm....i'd rather talk to u tomoro abt this than now n here
jus take loadsa care...n hey...in BJs own words...KEEP THE FAITH :)
Love
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