If someone asked me a month back if I’d ever stop blogging, I’d reply in the negative without a second’s hesitation. Not any longer – despite the fact that my blog has been my baby for the last three years, I find myself hesitating when I approach it these days. Unfortunately my blog has been the reason for some misunderstandings in my life, and it has forced me to question if perhaps my blog hasn’t played a hand in complicating my life a little. As it is, since the beginning of this year life has been a freaking roller-coaster with a tendency to swerve in any odd direction it wishes.
So many times over the past few months, I’ve stopped myself and questioned my actions – so many of the events in the last few months don’t seem like my life, so many of my actions don’t seem like mine. But it is my life and they are my actions – I worry constantly about what I’m doing. I worry that one wrong decision today could lead to a lot of pain and confusion tomorrow. Then again how can I be so sure that the said decision would be wrong? I worry that I’m being selfish in allowing myself to enjoy the happiness that is coming my way. Then again don’t I deserve it? I worry that the happiness is temporary. Then again isn’t happiness always temporary? Don’t troubles and worries always dog the steps of content and peace? So then I worry that I worry too much and that I worry needlessly.
Gah – add to it the confusions created by what I’ve said on my blog – it’s almost like Geebaby too is going through some kind of quarter-life crisis! Sometimes I think I should perhaps not blog anymore! * Shudder * No, I don’t think that is possible – Geebaby has been MY space to vent out thoughts and emotions and any scant creative bursts for too long now and I don’t think I can completely give it up…but perhaps it’s time Geebaby grew up and donned a different avatar.
So there, you have it, there are going to be some changes here people – I may be back from the short hiatus, but I ain’t the same no more!
Current Music:- Wind of Change - Scorpions, Something Stupid - Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman, Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough - Patty Smith, To Be With You - Mr. Big (the last two being two of my favourite romantic tracks!)
Current Book:- Brainfever Bird – Allan Sealy
Current Mood:- Swerving between contemplative and content – haven’t felt this good about myself in ages and I’m finding it bloody odd!
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11 comments:
someone very dear to me once chided me for worrying too much and quoted these lines. they are from the book 'notes to myself':
i constrict my vision and disregard my options when i pursue. i cannot receive from the unknown when i grasp. nothing exists for me until i see it. there is little i can about my feelings, but honesty removes the edge of pain from my wants. and awareness shows me that, miraculously, the universe continues to function without my worry.
ure so right, geet ;-) any long time blogger soon understands dat despite the occassional hiccups, stopping the blog is out of the question. pulls us back from the brink every time.. and reaffirms everytime, dat despite the silly taggle board, the silly comments etc that we all love so much, they're principally for US - us alone. and everyone else can go hang!
;-)
*pats on back.*
Good to hear that you WILL be writing.
Its common to hear about extraordinary people but it is extraordinary to hear about common people. Famous people are talked about 24x7 in the news on TV and in the papers. Blogs give us insights into common people - like oyu and me.
Maybe thats why they are so popular. Before blogs, you never knew the points of view of people other than your friends and family. Even those didnt tell you their deepest thoughts. Here, it is an open book which you can read and learn from. You learn from mistakes but "Life is too short to make all the mistakes yourself"...so we read and learn from others' mistakes and experiences !!
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
P.S.: Do visit my blog again !
I can relate to this post Geetanjali. Even I am feeling the same and have not posted since 2 weeks.One of my senior had written the follwing lines for me,
"be a good girl
with a broad smile,
try to be happy all the while
don't get blue when the things go wrong,
Just smile and say Iget through"
I am finding it hard to follow it, may be you can try.
-Swarna
I find that blogging is an addiction, which is far easier to get over than I'd ever thought. Recently, I havent been able to find time to blog as often, and I feel sad that I dont miss it that much.... see, now I'm worrying that I'm not worrying enough :)
The rightness or wrongness of a decision will only be determined in time, my love. You can only take a good decision and then watch as events unfold. That is all allowed to us mere mortals. :-)
This particular piece perks up a sagging morale rather well, I find:
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
Tennyson, Ulysses.
It would be a pity indeed if you surrendered to the crisis... I don't want another friend turning into a cow! :D
*ducks to avoid nuclear missile*
Something tell me ur in love....
Whoami - That is incredibly true...think I should add it to my booknotes!
LH - True true, the space is our own space at the end of the day...
Guns - Oh I don't think I can truly stop blogging ever...shall defi drop by your blog soon! :-)
Swarna - That's cute...hope you post again soon! Take care...
Extempore - You sermonising lady, just you watch, I'm going to turn all cow on you now!!!
Lotus - Amen!
Anonymous - Why the cowardice in hiding behind anonymity? And pray tell me WHAT makes you think I'm in love?
Vas-y vas-y Geebaby!
Nous tumhare saath sommes :-)
Boo hoo hoo! You ignored my comment :(
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