End of the Tether

I swore to myself I wouldn’t break down – I told myself I’m strong…and I am, but I’m very, very close to the end of the tether. Nerves stretched taut, my patience is wearing thin and my tolerance levels for any kind of inefficiency, indiscipline, incompetence, ignorance, insensibility not to mention insensitivity are at an all-time low. My temper has flared more than once and nearly reached the dangerous levels beyond which I am incapable of practicing reason and am only concerned with making the object of my ire feel like the lowest form of cretin that exists…have had a vicious fight with my brother, lost my temper in class with very horrifying consequences – I’ve actually taken to turning my back on such issues and counting to ten, numbing my senses in order to keep a handle on that temper. Doesn’t help that I’ve had a nasty cold since last week, coupled with a hacking cough and congestion that forces me to take breaks while teaching just to cough and clear my throat like an old woman! That’s when I’m not blowing my nose like a freaking trumpeting elephant! Gah I’m sounding like a woman bordering on PMS – and gah again, I’m not even close to it…someone give me a valid reason for this abominable behaviour, and I mean "valid reason" not "excuse"….sigh. How do people get through life with such low standards for themselves? How do they avoid the inevitable stage of disappointing one self?

Current Music:- Nothing…head hurts too much to take any sound at all. It’s all noise inside my head right now. Tout est bruit, rien n’est musicale, rien n’est agreeable.
Current Mood:- Worn-out and extremely irritable, longing to give more than one person a piece of my mind (to hell with the consequences), but holding back because bloody hell the consequences would be horrifying. Can someone please send a hug by courier, ‘coz I sure could do with one right now…and oh, while you’re at it, toss in a full-body massage as well!