Is it time yet to give up? I think not, and thus I continue to wage the war despite the dying strength and will power. But I am tired now, really tired. Have given up all attempts (read pretense) at being strong, at having faced the rude loss of my father and coped with it excellently. I miss him with every second that passes by and I refuse to pretend otherwise anymore, irrespective of how uncomfortable it makes people around me. Perhaps I'm being selfish and unreasonable about it. I don't care anymore. I think I've endured enough to be allowed this luxury - yes it is indeed a luxury to let your true feelings show, to wallow in the misery that has been a part of your life for over a year, a misery that has just increased several times over with the unchanging status of my missing bag. Yes, I know I sound insane but losing that bag is like losing Papa all over again...and I don't think I'll ever recover from this loss...
Am hoping and praying with all my heart that this festive season doesn't have any dark clouds overshadowing it and does indeed bring along with it reasons to rejoice...*crossing my fingers tight*
...meanwhile the struggle to knock sense into stubborn students insisting on repeating level 1 mistakes one-third of their way into level 2, commuting to-n-fro twice a day in the abominable Pune public transport (I refuse to even consider investing in my own mode of transport) and dealing with inefficient staff at the administrative level keeps me on my toes, occupied and exhausted...yes, the life is quite "happening" indeed.
4 comments:
oh baby.. *Hugs* Hold on.. I know you will and you have to! :-) take care.
My friend told me last week "Everything looks good in yellow". Old pages of books, memories, experiences - yes even of crazy PMT bus rides... they all look good in Yellow.
Then we realise how it all was worth the effort.
i promise to be the best student, i'll study hard and won't trouble you. :)
mugdha.
Anon 1 - Eh I'm tired of "holding on"...but then that's what this litany was about na?
Guns - I really do hope that some day I can look at the sepia tone of the past and smile back at what I learnt through the gruelling experiences, but as of now, yellow is just the colour of jaundice!
Anon Mugdha - Tu me promets? :-) Je ne savais pas que tu lisais mon blog! :-)
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