Ask Yourself If You’re Happy and You Cease to Be…

Happiness = Pleasure = Joy = Delight = Elation = Euphoria = Rapture = Jubilation = Bliss = Ecstasy.

The sheer number of synonyms for this emotion that we seek so desperately is testament to the fact that happiness comes in many forms. That it eludes most of us is a completely different matter together. I won’t pretend otherwise – oft have I wondered in the last year and a half why pure, complete joy doesn’t feature more prominently in the grand scheme of things, particularly in the scheme that features me. The raw anger burning inside my system is fast burning away every last vestige of optimism that once pushed me. No longer do I believe in happy endings, nor do I continue to believe that good things happen to good people. It doesn’t quite work that way in this world, and so it is that the rage inside me fuels my every movement, very often leaving me worn out. Hardly a wonder that I constantly feel so listless and sleep-deprived! ;-)

Much to my surprise then, when the last week proved to be almost blissful, so peaceful it was despite that uncalled for kick below the belt that life deemed necessary. A week of calm (we’ll just ignore those two nasty temper displays) and long conversations with Ma. Toss in simple yet delicious meals, the wonderful sensation (even if occasionally irritating) of Schnapps sleeping at my feet, thus warming them through the blanket, retail therapy and this Plain Jane just feels so much nicer. The icing on the cake of course were those two lovely afternoons spent with one of my closest friends; a friend who I’ve missed much in the last one year, with whom I can wrangle over the silliest things, tease unceasingly, butt heads over the most inane and sometimes most important issues and come out laughing, my sprit so much lighter and with whom I can truly be myself, share my darkest worries and my strangest thoughts knowing that nothing but understanding will await me on the other side. Friday afternoon at the University, soaking in the sun, drinking chai and chatting sent me back to those languid summer afternoons we spent avoiding the sun under that canopy of trees, drinking chai or nimbu pani, talking, bickering, laughing…and left me quite happy.