I Don't Know...

The excuses are plenty – confusion, fatigue, loneliness, melancholy, tumult. I could spin a gossamer fine tale of how the quagmire of life sucked the very life force out of me, infusing me with apathy towards everything. Would I be lying – not really. The life sure as hell has kept me (pre)occupied, but is that why I didn’t speak for so long? Not really. The real reason is that I simply didn’t feel like it. I had nothing I wanted to say to the world – to indulge in scatological imagery, I was suffering from acute constipation and it doesn’t seem like I’ve completely recovered. There’s plenty inside that has been swirling around, clamouring to get out, but I find myself unable to express it. Is it time to shut shop? I won’t lie. The idea has been considered and it has been dismissed. When will I bounce back into form? I don’t know. Perhaps this week. Perhaps not. I don’t know. I am not a clairvoyant. I wish I was. I could have answered so many questions. Mine ofcourse, not yours. I am not here to run some kind of services. Coming back to the point – why am I being so belligerent about it? I don’t have the answer to that either. Perhaps I’m tired of always doing the right thing, of living upto everyone's expectations, of being so nice and accommodating. Perhaps Plain Jane is tired of being Plain. I think I like that idea. Yes, I’m warming up to the idea. I quite like the idea of wrecking pure havoc around me. Will I really do it? I don’t know. Didn’t I tell you that I’m not a clairvoyant?

Leaving you with an image from the past – a blast from the past if you will. A portrait made by a friend who I seem to have lost in the madding crowd.