Someone recently said that relationships should not become a burden, a liability and a responsibility towards the other – wherein you fear hurting them or letting them down. That there should be freedom in a relationship – freedom to be who you are without the need to explain anything. Yes there should be. But does the freedom to be true to your own self imply that you have the right to be callous about other’s feelings? Does the freedom to be true to your convictions and beliefs and attitudes imply that you have the right to squash any other opposing thought and not even give it a fair hearing? Does an occasional compromise for the one you care about, really have to be such a pain?
Currently :-
- Planning the week ahead of me – it’s going to be a busy one with Dr.M in town with wife – so there are corporate dinners to look forward to, and the delightful role of the MD’s daughter to live upto! Plus I have to get myself back into the groove of studies.
- Disciplining my mind and body – started with the body a fortnight ago. Ab dimaag ki baari hai.
- Listening to Come Undone by Duran Duran – sexy song! Incredibly sexy!
7 comments:
I love that song. I don't know why a lot of people don't though..and I totally know what you mean by the first para there. Very well put. Btw, your writing is very eloquent. Esp your fiction.
>freedom to be who you are without the need to explain anything.
Hallmark of a good relationship. Its usually unwritten and unsaid but prevalent in certain rare and treasured relationships.
>But does the freedom to be true to your own self imply that you have the right to be callous about other’s feelings?
Worry about one thing at a time.A choice on your part doesnt include putting youself in other's shoes.Just making a decision for yourself is trouble enough and thinking of the recepients reaction to your choice is just inviting complications.
>Does the freedom to be true to your convictions and beliefs and attitudes imply that you have the right to squash any other opposing thought >and not even give it a fair hearing?
Who decides whats a "fair hearing.You just work with the information you have (howevere incomplete) and express yourself based on that.If new information comes to your notice, then I guess I am free to change my mind.(That includes apologising to the person whom you have scowled at before, I guess) but thats me..
Anyways "Come Undone" is such a blas from past :)
Relationships are a definitely a burden. They are not only symbiotic, but at times even parasitic.
And that is precisely why they are precious to us. That is precisely why they are limited. Otherwise every human interaction of ours would blossom into a relartionship of some form. but that doesnt happen because we choose otherwise.
We choose who shall come close to us, who shall be our friend, our loved one. We choose whom we shall let be a parasite on us. We make them special in our lives and as a quid pro quo we are made special in theirs.
We give them the right to laugh and play with us, to share a smile, a tear, a lazy sunday afternoon, a long drawn telphonic chat on nonsensical matters. It is with them and them alone that we go to stupid places. Only close friends figure in our plans to visit untamed lands in far off places.
And we also give them the right to occassionally transgress boundaries, make us cry and hurt our feelings. For intentionally or otherwise, it is impossible for true friends not to hurt each other. Where two hearts touch, some blood must flow.
The hallmark of a true friendship is not that they never make you cry. True friends are those who will make you cry, but wait long enough for the tears to dry, so that they can make you laugh too.
And parasitic that it is, rememeber that it never can be that when you are hurt, your friend is having a jolly good time. Chances are that unseen by you, they desperately wait for you to stop, because they too are hurt and crying. :)
strings dont hold when left untied.
friendships dont last when thoughts untold.
Phal - Thanks! I have recetly posted a new story on Literary Mosaic - do read it and leave your comments! :-)
Anon 1 & 2 - Guessing who you are..and if you are who you are, then you know my replies to your comments.
Sree - Yeah, I agree with you there. Totally.
Relationships sure require us to walk the tight rope don't they? There isn't a relship if there are no ties to hold you down - and if you don't express yourself freely (at the cost of hurting others ) then you aren't ebing true to the relship - so how do you decide how much to say and how and when to say it, so as not to jeopardise the relship forever? Damn and who said man ain't a political animal?
Can you walk a distance if your shoes are tied to each other?
Can friends walk a distance if their shoes are tied to each other?
Untie the knot or take off the shoes?
or why not just fly ;-)
Sree has said exactly what I wanted to say about this post.
Very true.
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