Here's a story for you'll (Yes I know it should be on Literary Mosaic and not here, but humour me and play along)...
"It was a sultry summer evening when the young girl emerged from her French class into the growing darkness of the city. Since she lived on the opposite corner of the city, rickshaws usually refused to go there unless she paid them double fare and public buses that she usually relied on, catered to the unsavoury sorts at that hour. So on days that she had classes in the evening, she usually had to ask either her father or brother to work a little late so one of them could pick her up on his way home. That day both of them were out of town, so she swallowed her pride and asked one of her nice-gentlemanly-sort-of-male-friends to do her a favour and drop her home...
Being the perfect gentleman, the man in question rose to the occasion and agreed to come to the rescue of this dainty damsel. He was there on time. Her professor, as usual, left the class a little late, so she came out a few minutes late to find him lounging on his powerful bike, admiring the pretty dames that emerged from the class. Reminding him that he had a fiancee waiting for him in another city, she climbed onto his bike, taking care to tuck in her gossamer fine white Lucknowi kurta underneath her, so it wouldn't get entangled in the bike's tyres.
Her friend grunted in response, revved his bike and shot off like a rocket into the twilight zone. He took the longer route via the Cantonment, as he was prone to. This route allowed him to show off his skills on the bike, since it had wider, better laid roads and wasn't subject to heavy traffic. So he could zip from one side of the road to the other, revving his engine up when he wanted and letting it idly coast along the slope when he felt like that. Meanwhile, she leaned back in her seat and let herself get lost in the web of leaves that covered the roads like a canopy. The stars twinkled back at her through the leaves and the breeze ruffled her hair into a tangled mess. She'd have to spend a long time brushing her hair out when she got home...
Her friend suddenly stopped in the middle of the road cursing heavily. She looked ahead to see the road block and a traffic policeman steering all traffic through the High Explosives Factory in the Cantonment area of the city. Her friend wanted to turn back, but she reasoned that if he did so, they'd have a ver long ride ahead of them and urged him to take the deroute. After all it couldn't take them longer than a few minutes to get out of this region and back on their usual track! Little did she know...the tiny lane that wound it's way through the Factory stretched on for an eternity before finally showing them out in an unpopulated area. they looked left, then right, but all they could see were trees . No sign of human inhabitation. He turned around and asked her what she'd like him to do next. Refusing to see any possible danger in the situation, she relied on her keen sense of direction and asked him to turn right...
15 minutes later, as they passed a bunch of old villagers and their fourth set of government buildings that looked exactly the same as the previous one, she wondered if they should have turned back from that road block after all. As though he was reading her thoughts, her friend spoke up and told her in a terse note that this was reminding him of the time when he was driving down such a deserted area and a bunch of drunk hoodlums stoppe dhis bike and beat him up. He turned his head slightly and added, "I was alone that time. This time I have you with me and I'm answerable to your parents..." She had a sudden vision of a bunch of drunk men beating up her friend before turning to her, sending chills down her spine.
Surely this little deroute cum adventure to narrate at home wouldn't turn into something she'd regret for the rest of her life? Pulling her Bandhini dupatta tighter around her body, she squinted into the darkness looking desperately for some landmark that would guide them back to civilisation. She was lucky, for they soon entered a village. As her friend made his way across a cobbled path (in India?) she cursed under her breath, for with every bump her back lightly hit the back of his bike. She'd have a sore back by the time she got home - it was hurting her in the exactly the same spot she'd hurt herself five years ago, when she'd slipped down a flight of stairs in college!
As soon as the cobbled path got over, they stopped at a Paanwalla and asked him how to find their way back to the main city. He asked them to go straight ahead and turn right at the third crossing...10 minutes later, they saw a familiar building loom up at them! Bombay Sappers, Cantonment, Khadki, Pune. Had they not been derouted they would have crossed this building just a few minutes after that road-black. Instead they had spent nearly 45 minutes riding through previously unmapped regions of the city, getting their backs screwed on cobbled paths, that were definitely not made for two-wheeler traffic!
Another 30 minutes later, he delivered her safely home, none the worse except for a slight bump on her penultimate vertrebra that would probably require a gentle massage and a heat-pad later that night. Exhausted, she trudged up to her house, while he turned back to ride back across town to his own pad...."
Replace that charming young girl with me and her gentlemanly friend with my friend who I've mentioned before, but can't name on this Blog for fear of being sued. Now replace his Bike with a Scooter, that rarely goes above 30 km/h because of an accident he had while speeding. Last but not the least, cut out some of the drama that I threw in there to make it a racy read...Voila, that was my little adventure last evening!
P.S Since you've already read one piece of "Fiction" I assume you must be in the mood to read some more - I hunted up an old attempt at fiction writing (perhaps the second thing I wrote) and have posted it on Literary Mosaic. Comments are awaited! :-)
Friday, April 08, 2005
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15 comments:
Somewhere in the story I was anticipating impending doom with the girl getting raped and the guy getting hacked and I was almost going to say ``Not cool! Haven't stories like this been covered ad infinitum?".
IMO my mind is twisted.
./HN
i like your easy style!keep going!
I love drive Khadki Cant. much better than ganeshkind road I tell you with all the digging I tell you.
I too was sensing impending doom but am happy bc there was none.
:-)
I like the way you use your imagination here ...
HN - I was counting on a whole lot of minds being twisted - that's where the fun in this narration lies dude! If not, then what would be the point of narrating it eh?
Wandering Dervish and August - Thanks! :-)
Akshay - Till yesterday I, too, had no problems with my friend taking that route - it being a nicer route et al, but since that 1 and a half hour ride on hiss cooter on bumpy Pune roads, because of which my back is throughly screwed, I am quite sure I'm going to think twice about going that way again! Am actually taking painkillers today...:-(
Awesome play with words and expressions....Good going Geets..take care and get well soon :)
Hi,I really liked the way you have narrated this.It kept me reading right to the very end and yes i was anticipating worse :)
will be back for more
Phew! what an adventure!
....that is why i always ask directions! lol
GEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ive had it wid blogger. id postd a comment!!!!
neways *shrug* even id anticipated a not so nice ending.
keep it up dudette.
n if it doesnt get posted this time...i ll jus scream n b done wid it :D
Prati , Jyotsna - Thanks:-)
Gulanz - Well initally there weren't even ppl to ask for directions...that area we crossed was just so deserted it was like one of those scenes in a horror movie!
Elixir - Blogger troubles - I commiserate, for I too have left a comment on your blog and other's blogs and late rit wouldn't be there! Grrrrr...
P.S So everyone played along and imagined gruseome endings eh? Mission accomplished! ;-)
We forget to see beauty stuck in out world of thoughts. Good adventure, maybe next time it will more of an escape. :-)
you got your own knight on a shining scooter. hawwwwwww.2........... i also want. and seeeeee! i havent abandoned you chica!!!!
Sreekesh - take me back there in a comfortable car that won't damage my spine, in the early hours of the evening when darkness hasn't cast it's shroud over anything and I'll gladly appreciate the beauty ;-)
Pahl - LOL yeah I see you haven't abandoned me! :-) My knight in shining scooter is a boon, but I won't be calling him to rescue me any time soon - back still screwed up frm adventure of that day :-(
I like the way you narrated this one. Keep writing more. Cheers !
That was a gripping recount, loved the way you took us with you through your adventure, amplified, but still very intriguing...
Though, I would have prefered a bit more masala... hmmm... perhaps like a slightly less macho Dhoom??? Next time you must add in those hoodlums & try some Shaolin moves ;-)
PS: Am I being rechristened Manola?? (if thats the case, mujhe apne naam-karan ceremony mein bulaya kya?) Or is there another person among your friends who has her name's first 3 alphabets the same as mine???
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