The Game of Life...

As I sit me down to type this post, I hear the sound of the car doors shutting six floors below and I know it's my cousin who has arrived (an hour too late - why don't people adhere to punctuality?) and I shall have to get up just when I FINALLY sat down to write. An interruption that I am not happy about. After all, it's been aeons since I've written and I'm feeling positively constipated with all the words and ideas being stuck inside me for so long. The bell rings...I excuse myself.

Back; boy am I itching to write today. Even at the cost of staying up late to finish reading Histoire de la France (1815-1850) - the second section of the period from 1789-1850 that I'm handling for the presentation on the History of France, due on the 31st. Reading this book reminded me of why I enjoyed History so much back in school - we had adecent set of teachers, who more than made up for the inadequacies of our ultra-boring S.S.C History textbook and I had even considered majoring in History at one point. Then came Junior college, a terrible teacher and an incredily soporific syllabus of Indian History (again) and Maharashtrian History (which we did each year from Std IV to Std X)...and all plans of taking up History were dropped. My combination for Under-Grad was Psycho-Socio-Literature.

The last one week has been exhausting, stressful and hectic to say the least. A person who likes things in order and treasures a sense of routine, was thrust into a choatic existence with not even an iota of routine - end result? I was extremely tired and cranky and irritable yesterday. Last night I threw a tanturm on the phone while talking to close buddy, counsellor, guardian angel rolled into one (Kunu Baba - what would I do without him?) and finally felt relieved once the catharsis was taken care of. It helps that our beloved Shanta tai, who has worked for us for 23 yrs (from the time I was 6 mths old till last year when we moved from Bbay to Pune) has come down for some time to help us out. She's an amazing woman - in tune with our needs, she senses our moods and knows how to handle us even when we are out ous worst. Even with a maid for the housework and a cook, we didn't feel like it was alright to forget about the housework when Bhabhi was in the hospital and later when the baby had just come home. Monitoring them just added to our stress - but now that Shanta is here, we can focus on getting the baby's routine settled and bringing the house back onto it's well-oiled wheels!

Some time back a friend commented that it was amazing how I had such high standards of housekeeping despite my upbringing. I didn't know what he meant by "upbringing" then and still don't know, but I couldn't refute him then and won't refute anyone who points it out to me. Home-maker or not, woman or man, I think a house should be clean, aesthetically pleasing and practical. I guess it's come down in the genes from Ma who's a super woman and has always kept our home the perfect haven.

Today the same friend commented that I also have high standards on how a child should be brought up - I'd never thought about this, but I guess all those years of seeing my cousins bring up their kids in all the possible ways, has ended up in me having strong views on how children should be, and how much parental relationships and upbringing has an effect on the child and eventually the adult. I have nieces and nephews I adore and love spending time with and ones that I'd gladly slap the senses out of and very often itch to kick off the terrace, or atleast into a swimming pool! I hope my brother's child doesn't fall into the latter category.

The same goes for mothers - I never understand why so many women who long to become mothers aren't prepared for the responsibility that goes with it (not just towards the child, but also towards yourself). Why do they think that a baby is merely a toy that they will have to play with and that it will just grow up by itself without a helping hand to steer him/her in the right direction? Ek baar paida kar lo, bacche to apne aap hi pal jaate hain - God I feel like shaking the people who say that. I hope my own Bhabhi doesn't disappoint me - for I can't do or say much if I don't want to spoil relationships. And I hope I'm not expecting too much. Sometimes I wonder if it's good to have such high expectations, but how can I settle for mediocrity?

Time shall tell - que sera sera. All we can do is play our roles to the best we can and see what cards open next in the game of life! *Amen*