The weekend was quite dreary - apart from class on Saturday (which I realise will be quite an exciting challenge once my predecessor leaves) nothing else brightened the days. To add to the general sense of gloom, I spent Saturday evening glued to the television watching Kevin Connor's adaptation of Frankenstein on Hallmark.
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein was one of the few novels I truly enjoyed studying for M.A - I normally don't enjoy the classics. Appreciate them yes, but enjoy them, hang on to every word till the last page? Rarely. It was the postmodern, postcolonial and feminist texts that really got me going. Frankenstein, though popular under the genres of science-fiction and female gothic, has many sub-texts and deals with mythological, religious, psychological and postcolonial themes as well. Voila - can it get any more exciting? I spent many an hour in the University Library poring over Ellen Moers' The Female Gothic, Gilbert & Gubar's The Madwoman in the Attic: The Woman Writer and the Nineteenth-Century Literary Imagination and hunting down reference books dealing with the novel.
I'd earlier seen Kenneth Branagh's adaptation starring Robert DeNeiro - admittedly it was a far more dramatic and faster-paced adaptation, but the one I saw on Saturday captured perfectly the sense of fear, dread and horror that the novel inspired in me. Gloomy or not, I'm glad I caught the movie :-)
On a different note, I had to pen a script for the kids to enact at the Christmas party hosted by Alliance Française de Poona each year - it's been a long time since I indulged in any creative writing ;-) LOL!
For those of you who can understand even basic French I've put it up on France Say. Take a look!
Monday, November 28, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
In Quest of the Holy Grail
Like always when I'm in need for serious self-esteem boosting, I turn to books and I study - yes yes I know sounds bizarre. Some people turn to friends, others primp and go out and party - I burrow myself into books, read up on a subject that's always been of interest but never knew enough about it and get those grey cells racing. Books gracing my bed-side table as of now:
1. Mythology – Myths, Legends, & Fantasies, Ed. Parker Janet, Stanton Julie© Global Book Publishing Pty Ltd, 2003
2. France - Paysages. Visages. Lumieres, © Michelin, 1998
3. Picasso - Metamorphosis 1900-1972, © India Book House Pvt. Ltd, 2002
I finished with Greek & Roman mythology sometime last year and had shelved my book on Mythology in pursuit of fiction. I picked it up again this week and began with Arthurian legends, moving on to Egyptian mythology...
While reading the Arthurian legends, I but naturally came across the legend of the Holy Grail and I thought to myself, "Aha a topic of great interest to even one who couldn't care less about Arthurian legends et al, after the run-away success of Da Vinci Code..."
So here I am, with an tiny bit on the Grail - and yes for those of you who didn't know, the quest did exist before Da Vinci Code (ducks for cover as readers shoot missiles) ;-)
The Grail is a complex object and its origins go far back. According to ancient tradition, the Dagda, Irish father go, possessed a cauldron of inexhuastible bounty accessible only to the brave. Several Irish stories feature goblet-bearing maidens, like the Grail Maiden, who dispense sovereignty to worthy candidates with a drink. In one Irish tale, the sea god, Manannan, gives King Cormac a magical chalice that is ahsttered by falsehood and reunited by truth. The story's symbolism suggests that the chalice represents the vessel of self. The conception of the Grail as container of self is reinforced by the Welsh version of Perceval, "Peredur." In this version, Peredur sees the Grail not as a cup, but as a human head. Some traditions speak of the ancient Celts using skullsas drinking vessels, and in later symbolism the vas, the crucible used by the alchemist is sometimes identified as a skull. Thus, the Grail quest, is one symbolic level, a transformation process carried ouit within the mind.
There is some evidence that the Grail is also concerned with pagan feritlity rites - the idea of sickly land finding restoration only through the Grail, as well as the Celtic idea of a cauldron of plenty. Later the Grail came to be associated with Christain ideas of the Holy Spirit: the Grail as a metaphor for the body containing the Holy Spirit.
Source: Mythology – Myths, Legends, & Fantasies, Ed. Parker Janet, Stanton Julie © Global Book Publishing Pty Ltd, 2003
Read more at "Grail." Encyclopedia Mythica from Encyclopedia Mythica Online. [Accessed November 24, 2005].
1. Mythology – Myths, Legends, & Fantasies, Ed. Parker Janet, Stanton Julie© Global Book Publishing Pty Ltd, 2003
2. France - Paysages. Visages. Lumieres, © Michelin, 1998
3. Picasso - Metamorphosis 1900-1972, © India Book House Pvt. Ltd, 2002
I finished with Greek & Roman mythology sometime last year and had shelved my book on Mythology in pursuit of fiction. I picked it up again this week and began with Arthurian legends, moving on to Egyptian mythology...
While reading the Arthurian legends, I but naturally came across the legend of the Holy Grail and I thought to myself, "Aha a topic of great interest to even one who couldn't care less about Arthurian legends et al, after the run-away success of Da Vinci Code..."
So here I am, with an tiny bit on the Grail - and yes for those of you who didn't know, the quest did exist before Da Vinci Code (ducks for cover as readers shoot missiles) ;-)
The Grail
The Grail is a complex object and its origins go far back. According to ancient tradition, the Dagda, Irish father go, possessed a cauldron of inexhuastible bounty accessible only to the brave. Several Irish stories feature goblet-bearing maidens, like the Grail Maiden, who dispense sovereignty to worthy candidates with a drink. In one Irish tale, the sea god, Manannan, gives King Cormac a magical chalice that is ahsttered by falsehood and reunited by truth. The story's symbolism suggests that the chalice represents the vessel of self. The conception of the Grail as container of self is reinforced by the Welsh version of Perceval, "Peredur." In this version, Peredur sees the Grail not as a cup, but as a human head. Some traditions speak of the ancient Celts using skullsas drinking vessels, and in later symbolism the vas, the crucible used by the alchemist is sometimes identified as a skull. Thus, the Grail quest, is one symbolic level, a transformation process carried ouit within the mind.
There is some evidence that the Grail is also concerned with pagan feritlity rites - the idea of sickly land finding restoration only through the Grail, as well as the Celtic idea of a cauldron of plenty. Later the Grail came to be associated with Christain ideas of the Holy Spirit: the Grail as a metaphor for the body containing the Holy Spirit.
Source: Mythology – Myths, Legends, & Fantasies, Ed. Parker Janet, Stanton Julie © Global Book Publishing Pty Ltd, 2003
Read more at "Grail." Encyclopedia Mythica from Encyclopedia Mythica Online. [Accessed November 24, 2005].
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Moving On...
Folks signed the papers confirming the sale of our Bombay flat last week - and with those signatures another chapter in my life came to an end. The longest and most cheished chapter, since that flat is the only home I've ever known. It seems wierd to some of my friends that I attach so much importance to a flat I've moved out of over a year ago, but that is the place I've grown up to become who I am today. Almost all my cherished memories have it as the backdrop - and now I feel homeless. Sure we are looking out for a place in Pune and it's going to be a bigger place where I'll continue to have my own bedroom like I do here (something I"ve gotten accustomed to, and now consider a necessity)...but I'd do anything to turn back the clock and go back to that 2BHK flat with a terrace bigger than the flat... too late for that now.
Guess it's truly time to move on, eh?
Guess it's truly time to move on, eh?
Monday, November 21, 2005
Damn Damn Damn
Battling my old demons for the last few days - promised myself I'll survive this battle by myself. No reaching out for that shoulder to cry on, but today I'm exhuasted. If I won't talk about it to my friends, I won't deny myself this catharsis as well. Damn it! I can take only one thing at a time - them demons or PMS. Combined they defeat me completely - mind, body and spirit.
Damn damn damn!
Damn damn damn!
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Spammers Go Die!
Yes yes I know I keep saying Music is my Porn. That does not, I repeat DOES NOT mean I am into pornography. Some people enjoy it. Good for them. I don't. It does nothing for me. I do not want to be spammed with links for porn sites, nor do I want to know what I can do to get my man instant erection just like instant dosa. And no, I do not need to know how to enhance/enlarge my penis! Sure hotmail now has a bigger (enlargened if you like) inbox. And yes I do check my email everyday - sometimes several times in a day. That doesn't mean I have nothing better to do than to open my inbox just to delete spam mail! Stop spamming me for chrissake! Grrrrr!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Bonne Chance et Felicitations!
Friend is getting married this week - I wish I could have gone. But I couldn't 'coz I start with a part-time job this week. My first step towards my goal. Don't ask me what the goal is, but you can ask about the job. I am going to be taking one of the batches of the children's course at Alliance Francaise de Poona. Nervous? A little - I'm not exactly an expert with kids. Excited? Yes very - suddenly I have lots of ideas about how to keep them involved and interested. Still don't know how I'll keep them disciplined but I guess I'll learn. The pay? Peanuts...but last I checked I wasn't one of those hunting for a job that turns me into a millionaire overnight. It's a start. I'll get there someday.
Wish me luck, people, for this new beginning.
Meanwhile my friend is going through the difficult phase of losing his bachelorhood. Ironically that isn't as much of an issue with him, as is the entire process of getting married in India with all our ceremonies and 'adambar' as he calls it...saying goodbye, bon voyage and all the best to him I felt a slight twinge of anxiety. Marriage may just take him away from me - he's one of my best friends. Probably the craziest, most stubborn and infuriating of the lot. Definitely the one I fight with the most. But also one of the closest. I hope I get along well with his wife...coz if I don't, I might just lose a friend.
I know he probably won't read this, with his scorn for my kind of blogging, but I wish you the very best mon cher ami. Always. I know the path ahead is probably strewn with thorns, but I also know you'll find your way through it to discover that treasure at the end...
Bonne Chance et Felicitations Titu Dada!
Wish me luck, people, for this new beginning.
Meanwhile my friend is going through the difficult phase of losing his bachelorhood. Ironically that isn't as much of an issue with him, as is the entire process of getting married in India with all our ceremonies and 'adambar' as he calls it...saying goodbye, bon voyage and all the best to him I felt a slight twinge of anxiety. Marriage may just take him away from me - he's one of my best friends. Probably the craziest, most stubborn and infuriating of the lot. Definitely the one I fight with the most. But also one of the closest. I hope I get along well with his wife...coz if I don't, I might just lose a friend.
I know he probably won't read this, with his scorn for my kind of blogging, but I wish you the very best mon cher ami. Always. I know the path ahead is probably strewn with thorns, but I also know you'll find your way through it to discover that treasure at the end...
Bonne Chance et Felicitations Titu Dada!
Saturday, November 12, 2005
There Is Something Incredibly Satisfying About...
Spending an evening in the kitchen dishing out some of your favorite dishes. Pasta Salad tossed with tomatoes, onions, olives & mushrooms in Thousand Island dressing, Au gratin, Macaroni Hotpot...
Catching the Classics hour on VH1 and watching your favourite songs from childhood back-to-back. November Rain (Guns n Roses), Every Heartbeat (Amy Grant), In These Arms (Bon Jovi), Right Kinda Love (Jeremy Jordan), Never Forget (Take That), Rain (Madonna)....
Baking a cake - right from scratch. None of those ready mixes please! The smell of the cake filling the kitchen has got to be the most satisfying aroma ever...almost aphrodisiac if you ask me! ;-)
Washing up after baking - Ok don't look at me like I'm insane. I abhorr washing dishes normally, but when I'm baking, there's something incredibly satisfying about washing up the mixing bowl, the mixer handles etc while the cake rises behind me in the oven, and that smell...ok I've already spoken about that, haven't I?
Spending a day at a close pal's place just doing nothing...talking about nothing in general, making pots of coffee (some good, some worth washing down the drain) and guzzling it down over a ridiculous heated argument on an inane issue, patching up later over left-overs or take-out...
Walking down the beach all by yourself, letting the breeze run havoc through your hair, not botherng about the humidity making your skin shine like it shouldn't, watching the sun disappear as you perch yourself on a rock trying not to smile at the suspicious sounds emerging from the rocks behind :-)
Doing the same thing with friends - only not ignoring the wierd sounds this time ;-) and making up silly songs about how the rain is falling in paradise, and someone is your fire and you're the ice...yes, we aren't winning the award for Best Lyricists 2006.
Going for a long walk in the evening and returning wet with sweat - and then washing it off with aromatic shower gel under a hot, scathing shower. Ummm....follow that up with yummy home cooked dinner and curl up in bed for a dreamy sleep. Satisfying I tell you...
Catching the Classics hour on VH1 and watching your favourite songs from childhood back-to-back. November Rain (Guns n Roses), Every Heartbeat (Amy Grant), In These Arms (Bon Jovi), Right Kinda Love (Jeremy Jordan), Never Forget (Take That), Rain (Madonna)....
Baking a cake - right from scratch. None of those ready mixes please! The smell of the cake filling the kitchen has got to be the most satisfying aroma ever...almost aphrodisiac if you ask me! ;-)
Washing up after baking - Ok don't look at me like I'm insane. I abhorr washing dishes normally, but when I'm baking, there's something incredibly satisfying about washing up the mixing bowl, the mixer handles etc while the cake rises behind me in the oven, and that smell...ok I've already spoken about that, haven't I?
Spending a day at a close pal's place just doing nothing...talking about nothing in general, making pots of coffee (some good, some worth washing down the drain) and guzzling it down over a ridiculous heated argument on an inane issue, patching up later over left-overs or take-out...
Walking down the beach all by yourself, letting the breeze run havoc through your hair, not botherng about the humidity making your skin shine like it shouldn't, watching the sun disappear as you perch yourself on a rock trying not to smile at the suspicious sounds emerging from the rocks behind :-)
Doing the same thing with friends - only not ignoring the wierd sounds this time ;-) and making up silly songs about how the rain is falling in paradise, and someone is your fire and you're the ice...yes, we aren't winning the award for Best Lyricists 2006.
Going for a long walk in the evening and returning wet with sweat - and then washing it off with aromatic shower gel under a hot, scathing shower. Ummm....follow that up with yummy home cooked dinner and curl up in bed for a dreamy sleep. Satisfying I tell you...
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Ever...
Gone for a drive past midnight with two guys, one whom you've just met and the other whom you've met just twice before - and not once questioned the wisdom of your actions? (question probably not valid for all my readers, but what the hell!). Friend's friend, who I count amongst my own friends was in town and picked me real late - went for glorious drive upto NDA and back. It was awesome - even though they were swigging from a RC bottle straight up!
Spent almost an entire day sharing the passenger seat of an Indica with another person, so you're squeezed up against the gear-shift and have the lift your thigh every time the drier wants to shift gears (which is like every 2 minutes on Pune roads) ?
Dragged your friend to your favoured place in the city, only to find your friend leading the way? Bosom buddy was in town and I took her up the Tekdi - only to find her insisting we not take the beaten path up and thus leading the way as she picked her way through the shrubs...and then on the way down, with my marvellous lack of personal inertia, I was close to taking the quickest way down and had to resort to histrionics and grabbing hold of her hand in order to save my butt (not to mention pride)...yes, it is apparently my turf ;-)
Sat under a canopy of trees at a biforcation, watching rickshaws and scooters drive past as you hogged down the yummiest Upma in town and then sip garam garam chai...and then followed it up with a rigorous fight with close pal, to end it with orders to have good coffee ready by the time you got to his place?
Did a jig of pure unadulterated joy at reading an email from someone you adore beyond reason - just because the email confirmed that you do have some place in that person's life? That if you were to walk out without looking back, that person would try and pull you back? And then stare blankly at the compose window because you don't know how to frame a reply without letting go of the self-respect, pride and ego you've found with so much difficulty? Yes sometimes having an ego in a relationship helps - any relationship. Letting the other take you for granted isn't the way to a great relation with anyone. It's a lesson I've learnt the hard way.
Just logged in to quickly check if anyone remembered you an/or commented on your blog and later felt guilty about not replying to the comments...better yet, felt guilty about not blogging for so many days? ;-)
Yes that's just what happened to me the last few days - am actually at peace with myself after the longest time. The worries haven't really evaporated into thin air - there's still so much to be accomplished on all fronts and I haven't even started...but yes I'm at peace. Let it last - atleast for a while!
Amen...
Spent almost an entire day sharing the passenger seat of an Indica with another person, so you're squeezed up against the gear-shift and have the lift your thigh every time the drier wants to shift gears (which is like every 2 minutes on Pune roads) ?
Dragged your friend to your favoured place in the city, only to find your friend leading the way? Bosom buddy was in town and I took her up the Tekdi - only to find her insisting we not take the beaten path up and thus leading the way as she picked her way through the shrubs...and then on the way down, with my marvellous lack of personal inertia, I was close to taking the quickest way down and had to resort to histrionics and grabbing hold of her hand in order to save my butt (not to mention pride)...yes, it is apparently my turf ;-)
Sat under a canopy of trees at a biforcation, watching rickshaws and scooters drive past as you hogged down the yummiest Upma in town and then sip garam garam chai...and then followed it up with a rigorous fight with close pal, to end it with orders to have good coffee ready by the time you got to his place?
Did a jig of pure unadulterated joy at reading an email from someone you adore beyond reason - just because the email confirmed that you do have some place in that person's life? That if you were to walk out without looking back, that person would try and pull you back? And then stare blankly at the compose window because you don't know how to frame a reply without letting go of the self-respect, pride and ego you've found with so much difficulty? Yes sometimes having an ego in a relationship helps - any relationship. Letting the other take you for granted isn't the way to a great relation with anyone. It's a lesson I've learnt the hard way.
Just logged in to quickly check if anyone remembered you an/or commented on your blog and later felt guilty about not replying to the comments...better yet, felt guilty about not blogging for so many days? ;-)
Yes that's just what happened to me the last few days - am actually at peace with myself after the longest time. The worries haven't really evaporated into thin air - there's still so much to be accomplished on all fronts and I haven't even started...but yes I'm at peace. Let it last - atleast for a while!
Amen...
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Patience Bears Sweet Fruits
Ever noticed how some people always have a long wait before they finally get what they want and rightfully deserve? Sure, patience bears sweet fruits - how many times have I quoted 'Sabar ka phal meetha hota hai' to my friends who are fretting over things that refuse to move forward. But isn't there a limit to how much one is expected to patiently wait? And after all that patience, why doesn't the wait end with a sweet fruit, instead of something hopelessly bland, or worse incredibly sour?
Friday, November 04, 2005
Ho Hum and Then Some...
Diwali - it's the only festival I truly celebrate. I love to attack it full-throttle, starting with sending out Diwali greetings by post (I used to faithfully help Papa and then took over the task a few years back). Then came the cleaning up - I revelled in that. There's a deep satisfaction in dusting out ignored corners of the house, scrubbing clean the kitchen, reorganising the shelves and cupboards...a few days before Diwali I sent out egreetings and started helping Amma with the preparations of Diwali goodies. Gujiyas (or Karanjis as some people call them), Shakar-paras, Mathris, Laddus...and put up lights on our terrace/balcony.
Then there was shopping - new clothes et al... :-)
Diwali came with a bang - the entire day flew past in getting ready for the evening's pooja and dinner. Amma would scold Bhaiyya and me for being lazy, pull her hair out when Papa returned from the market with everything that wasn't necessary and nothing that was on her list :-) But in the end, we'd be ready by 6.30-7 p.m and sitting together as a family for Lakshmi pooja. The only ritual I enjoy and look forward to with enthusiasm.
This year was different. No enthusiasm. None of the zeal and joie de vivre I associate with the festival. I trudged through some of the duties, skipped others. Let's just say life got in the way?
But then Diwali came - bringing along Mama who I was meeting after two years. Activity galore. Dhanteras pooja at the Phoenix Mecano Factory, followed by a long drive through rolling hills to Mulshi Dam. Pretty. Shopping. Picked up something very different for myself. I still can't believe it isn't Cotton! Papa got me blinking lights - they stay off longer than they stay on, but they blink - that's what's important. We strung them up in addition to our usual string of lights :-) Diwali pooja - Shaurya also did his little bit. He wanted to eat the laddus, instead of offering them to the Goddess! He's a foodie already - and he's just 5 months old! Watched the fireworks - they are nothing in comparison to Bombay, but the bright side of that is that it's not as noisy either. Besides Pune could do with less pollutants in the air! Dinner at Chacha's house for a change - I missed our dinner at home. Chachi doesn't make Malpuas *sulking*
Bhai Dooj - Amma did tikka for her brother after aeons. I could see how happy the two of them were. We may not attach much importance to rituals, but sometimes they mean alot and make so much difference. Mama left today. The house feels slightly empty, but I've moved back into my room. Have to do something to get that cigarette smell out of my bathroom - I used to think the smell doesn't bother me, but boy does it bother!
It's a New Year by the Hindu calendar - I've started it with some resolutions. It's time to get my priorities straight and it's time to focus on myself. I've let thing happen to me for too long - now it's time to make them happen for me. He says I've become bitter. Perhaps I have. I am disillusioned. I don't believe I deserve this - I deserve better. I am going to get it. That's a promise to myself.
Amen.
Then there was shopping - new clothes et al... :-)
Diwali came with a bang - the entire day flew past in getting ready for the evening's pooja and dinner. Amma would scold Bhaiyya and me for being lazy, pull her hair out when Papa returned from the market with everything that wasn't necessary and nothing that was on her list :-) But in the end, we'd be ready by 6.30-7 p.m and sitting together as a family for Lakshmi pooja. The only ritual I enjoy and look forward to with enthusiasm.
This year was different. No enthusiasm. None of the zeal and joie de vivre I associate with the festival. I trudged through some of the duties, skipped others. Let's just say life got in the way?
But then Diwali came - bringing along Mama who I was meeting after two years. Activity galore. Dhanteras pooja at the Phoenix Mecano Factory, followed by a long drive through rolling hills to Mulshi Dam. Pretty. Shopping. Picked up something very different for myself. I still can't believe it isn't Cotton! Papa got me blinking lights - they stay off longer than they stay on, but they blink - that's what's important. We strung them up in addition to our usual string of lights :-) Diwali pooja - Shaurya also did his little bit. He wanted to eat the laddus, instead of offering them to the Goddess! He's a foodie already - and he's just 5 months old! Watched the fireworks - they are nothing in comparison to Bombay, but the bright side of that is that it's not as noisy either. Besides Pune could do with less pollutants in the air! Dinner at Chacha's house for a change - I missed our dinner at home. Chachi doesn't make Malpuas *sulking*
Bhai Dooj - Amma did tikka for her brother after aeons. I could see how happy the two of them were. We may not attach much importance to rituals, but sometimes they mean alot and make so much difference. Mama left today. The house feels slightly empty, but I've moved back into my room. Have to do something to get that cigarette smell out of my bathroom - I used to think the smell doesn't bother me, but boy does it bother!
It's a New Year by the Hindu calendar - I've started it with some resolutions. It's time to get my priorities straight and it's time to focus on myself. I've let thing happen to me for too long - now it's time to make them happen for me. He says I've become bitter. Perhaps I have. I am disillusioned. I don't believe I deserve this - I deserve better. I am going to get it. That's a promise to myself.
Amen.
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