Adieu 2008...

2008. I stepped into the year on the phone with one of my closest friends who I love immensely, hoping to spend the next new year's eve together. Typing this in the fading light of the year in my of my favourite places in the city, I smile at the irony of failed dreams. Far from spending the last day of the year together, my friend is sitting thousands of miles away and I can only hope we will be able to talk tonight!

It's been a strange year by all counts - a year in which I've known the purest of happiness, the incredible joy of complete harmony and perfection and the satisfaction of personal and professional fulfillment. But it's also been a year of the most bitter realisations, disappointments and dark despair. There were times when I did not think I'd come through, but I have and it's a strange kind of content that fills my hungry soul tonight. It's been a year that has tested my closest relationships and I feel fortunate to have emerged with those I love and cherish the most still by my side, closer than ever. I have drifted away from some but also found some new friends, each of whom I connect with at a different level...what will the new year bring I wonder?

On that rather uncertain and timorous note, I wish thee all a Happy New Year, hoping it ushers in times of much happiness for everyone!

Reflections...

I have never been as proud of my mother, as I have in the last three weeks. The pride and respect I have for Papa has never been a secret but my mother’s strength, endless perseverance and resilience despite the bypass surgery and her 62 years have left me rather amazed. I wonder if I’ll have the same will power and strength of character at her age. Seeing how she has taken into stride everything has made me admire her so much. I know some of my decisions have hurt her and that is probably why I try not to let her down on other fronts. All I’ve ever wanted is for my parents to be proud of me and for them to be able to say that their daughter is a person of character. I really hope that they will be able to say that some day. Amen...

Beaming with Contentment

Unbelievable moments of mad mischief, endless chatter, annoyed frustration and nail biting nervousness later, I've finally managed to reach the end of the session...

There were times when I wondered if I was doing anything right, especially with one rather errant group. I'm still not sure how those zozos will fare and if my track record will suffer immensely or stay intact, but I am sure that I couldn't have done too badly...and once again my complete faith in what I'm doing has been reconfirmed. The elated satisfaction and the contented pride I glean from students' performances match litte else...and I must admit there is no better self-validation I harbour so often and so hungrily at times, than the one I get from students' appreciations.

One of the two batches passing out from my "regime" gave me the hugest and cutest card today - one that has warmed every little corner of my heart and spread across the length and breadth of me, a smile that refuses to fade. A hand-made card, they've put in it every silly thing uttered by them, all their insane gaffes, all my eccentric utterances and expressions and even one sentence I uttered while unleashing my ire on one of them...of all the gestures made by my students over the last 3 years, this will go down as one of the most memorable and special ones.

Rambling Away...

Random thoughts at four in the morning, when I should have been working and trying to deliver an assignment on my own time, instead of pushing it aside to be completed on time begged and borrowed…

• It is an extremely humbling experience to know people and have friends who are so much more intelligent and accomplished than one self…
• I don’t really mind the work; just wish there weren’t deadlines to meet every week! I’d never thought I’d live to see the day I worked almost unceasingly relying on a meagre four to five hours of sleep daily!
• Drumming music into my system after years – aeons actually! I’m counting on Trilok Gurtu to get the adrenaline flowing so I can meet the deadline looming large over me!
• Inching closer and closer to realizing a dream and an experience that I’m awaiting with a curious mix of excited eagerness coupled with wary nervousness – it’s funny how the last few centimeters seem the longest and the most arduous!