I hate saying Goodbye...and I'm dreading the moment more than I care to admit. FUCK but I'm going to miss her so god-damn-much!
Current Music:- J'ai besoin d'amour - Lorie
Current Mood:- Nostalgic. Contemplative. Cold. Tired.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Random Tag...
I thought..such things don't REALLY happen, but they apparently do.
I said...I wouldn't fall but I did anyways!
I want to...make my parents proud of me.
I wish... I could turn back time.
I miss... Papa. Alot.
I hear... they don’t make them like that anymore.
I wonder... about many things, not all of them worthwhile.
I regret... not having said enough when I had the time.
I am... a hopeless romantic, boringly sensible and quite practical, even though undeniably eccentric.
I dance... rarely in public, but very often (and best) in the mornings all by myself.
I sing... terribly out-of-tune.
I cry... way too often these days.
I am not always... sensible, much is the pity.
I write...not as well as I would like to and not nearly as much as I'd like to.
I confuse... people alot when I "zap" into my juvenile mode!
I need... to feel like I'm in control of my life.
I should try... to let go sometimes.
I finish... things I take up voluntarily, but not those forced onto me.
I get turned on by . . . intelligence and honesty when it comes to emotions.
I seek . . . happiness.
I won’t . . . ever be such a blind besotted fool again.
I shouldn’t . . .worry so much.
I confess . . . to enjoying Mills & Boons (there goes down the drain any future attempt at Literary Snobbery!)
I claim . . .to be Plain Jane :-)
I said...I wouldn't fall but I did anyways!
I want to...make my parents proud of me.
I wish... I could turn back time.
I miss... Papa. Alot.
I hear... they don’t make them like that anymore.
I wonder... about many things, not all of them worthwhile.
I regret... not having said enough when I had the time.
I am... a hopeless romantic, boringly sensible and quite practical, even though undeniably eccentric.
I dance... rarely in public, but very often (and best) in the mornings all by myself.
I sing... terribly out-of-tune.
I cry... way too often these days.
I am not always... sensible, much is the pity.
I write...not as well as I would like to and not nearly as much as I'd like to.
I confuse... people alot when I "zap" into my juvenile mode!
I need... to feel like I'm in control of my life.
I should try... to let go sometimes.
I finish... things I take up voluntarily, but not those forced onto me.
I get turned on by . . . intelligence and honesty when it comes to emotions.
I seek . . . happiness.
I won’t . . . ever be such a blind besotted fool again.
I shouldn’t . . .worry so much.
I confess . . . to enjoying Mills & Boons (there goes down the drain any future attempt at Literary Snobbery!)
I claim . . .to be Plain Jane :-)
Monday, July 24, 2006
Quarter-life Crisis?
If someone asked me a month back if I’d ever stop blogging, I’d reply in the negative without a second’s hesitation. Not any longer – despite the fact that my blog has been my baby for the last three years, I find myself hesitating when I approach it these days. Unfortunately my blog has been the reason for some misunderstandings in my life, and it has forced me to question if perhaps my blog hasn’t played a hand in complicating my life a little. As it is, since the beginning of this year life has been a freaking roller-coaster with a tendency to swerve in any odd direction it wishes.
So many times over the past few months, I’ve stopped myself and questioned my actions – so many of the events in the last few months don’t seem like my life, so many of my actions don’t seem like mine. But it is my life and they are my actions – I worry constantly about what I’m doing. I worry that one wrong decision today could lead to a lot of pain and confusion tomorrow. Then again how can I be so sure that the said decision would be wrong? I worry that I’m being selfish in allowing myself to enjoy the happiness that is coming my way. Then again don’t I deserve it? I worry that the happiness is temporary. Then again isn’t happiness always temporary? Don’t troubles and worries always dog the steps of content and peace? So then I worry that I worry too much and that I worry needlessly.
Gah – add to it the confusions created by what I’ve said on my blog – it’s almost like Geebaby too is going through some kind of quarter-life crisis! Sometimes I think I should perhaps not blog anymore! * Shudder * No, I don’t think that is possible – Geebaby has been MY space to vent out thoughts and emotions and any scant creative bursts for too long now and I don’t think I can completely give it up…but perhaps it’s time Geebaby grew up and donned a different avatar.
So there, you have it, there are going to be some changes here people – I may be back from the short hiatus, but I ain’t the same no more!
Current Music:- Wind of Change - Scorpions, Something Stupid - Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman, Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough - Patty Smith, To Be With You - Mr. Big (the last two being two of my favourite romantic tracks!)
Current Book:- Brainfever Bird – Allan Sealy
Current Mood:- Swerving between contemplative and content – haven’t felt this good about myself in ages and I’m finding it bloody odd!
So many times over the past few months, I’ve stopped myself and questioned my actions – so many of the events in the last few months don’t seem like my life, so many of my actions don’t seem like mine. But it is my life and they are my actions – I worry constantly about what I’m doing. I worry that one wrong decision today could lead to a lot of pain and confusion tomorrow. Then again how can I be so sure that the said decision would be wrong? I worry that I’m being selfish in allowing myself to enjoy the happiness that is coming my way. Then again don’t I deserve it? I worry that the happiness is temporary. Then again isn’t happiness always temporary? Don’t troubles and worries always dog the steps of content and peace? So then I worry that I worry too much and that I worry needlessly.
Gah – add to it the confusions created by what I’ve said on my blog – it’s almost like Geebaby too is going through some kind of quarter-life crisis! Sometimes I think I should perhaps not blog anymore! * Shudder * No, I don’t think that is possible – Geebaby has been MY space to vent out thoughts and emotions and any scant creative bursts for too long now and I don’t think I can completely give it up…but perhaps it’s time Geebaby grew up and donned a different avatar.
So there, you have it, there are going to be some changes here people – I may be back from the short hiatus, but I ain’t the same no more!
Current Music:- Wind of Change - Scorpions, Something Stupid - Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman, Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough - Patty Smith, To Be With You - Mr. Big (the last two being two of my favourite romantic tracks!)
Current Book:- Brainfever Bird – Allan Sealy
Current Mood:- Swerving between contemplative and content – haven’t felt this good about myself in ages and I’m finding it bloody odd!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Mood Therapy Anyone?
Who needs a loony-bin or a fancy spa-resort to fix those grey moods when Bombay is just around the corner to breathe life back into me, to slay my demons and to revitalise me sending me back with a calmer, more peaceful mind? For four days, I lived in an idyllic world, where all I did was eat, drink, swing, watch television/movies, talk and laze around. Friends had been saying I need to take a break and get away from town (preferably to the city that breathes life into me) so when my usual flying visit to Bombay got extended thanks to the rains bringing the magnificient city "to a standstill" (ahem!) you can imagine the miracles it worked on me!
Activities:- As I said, I unwound totally - swinging gently, watching the world race past through a window overlooking my favourite park in the city or watching television. I discovered Sex and the City (yes, yes I'm slow in discovering such things - what to do I'm pop-culture deprived these days!) and had a whale of a time chuckling over the antics of Carey and co. I got totally mind-f***ed watching Closer on a rainy, romantic morning, when I should have been watching much cuddled in someone's loving arms (yes yes we don't need to remind that those loving arms still haven't made an appearance - gah!)! I rolled my eyes at the media reports of "baarish ki dehshat" that had the "yatayat thap" - pray tell me is it just the goverment and the civic bodies thata re to be blamed for the mess in that city? When are we as citizens going to take some responsibility? I "braved" the rains and let the "man" have his way (Muhaha), attempting to get to Bandra, when Juhu was water-logged only to turn around and come back to my "ilaaka" and head to good ol' Fame Adlabs for an incredibly ridiculous Superman Returns (please don't expect a review beyond this - "rolling my eyes"). I've had some amazingly delicious food - O Calcutta, Café Basilico, Pizza Casa, Café Biona and some very basic food - Swadesh, Appointment(!!) and Guju-ghar-ka-khana. I allowed myself to get buzzed by drinking wine too fast on a nearly empty stomach and I rejected Vodka - it simply doesn't excite my tongue enough to bother with it. I'll stick with my wine, cognac and smooth, hot-n-sexy liqueurs please! I've been made to walk, seriously walk in my completely-inadequate-for-walking sandals just because that's what we do when we are together (reference to bosom pal M). I've talked and talked till my vocal chords ached - I've giggled and chuckled and laughed over men, love and life...I realised that I've finally put my biggest mistake behind me. That chapter is closed. Finally. I finally gave into my urge to shop and indulge in retail therapy when I walked into Landmark, the awesome bookstore I've heard so much about, and bought books and music after many months. I followed that up, by picking up a sexy pair of trousers and a tee, when I was out helping a friend shop! Hehe!I got my hair chopped off - yes quite drastic this time. Actually short - shorter than it has ever been!!! I exchanged a crazy number of text messages and talked for quite a long time with friends back in the hamlet, all the time agonising over how my carefully maintained balance has been getting screwed with since last month - oh to hell with it, it's worth it!
Humans encountered:- Aristera, my graceful host who can get grumpy and chauvinistic at times and must be pampered but is on the whole one charming, adorable, huggable darling! A, my friend all set to fly off to the land of golden opportunities to pursue those dreams of hers - who I will miss more than I care to admit, even though I've tried hard to teach myself to live without her there everytime I turned around. M, who I have learnt to live without, as long as there are emails and telephones to pull into immediate use when that crazy voice is needed to inject hope back into my system - she still hasn't changed a bit! Extempore, the only friend outside the inner circle I deigned to meet (Muhaha!) - it felt good to indulge in some intellectual (ahem) conversation with her over Vodka, liqueur, pizza and Sex and the City! Got introduced to V, about whom I've heard plenty - now that I know that there is one nice person in that gang, I'm waiting to meet the others! (Hint hint)
....and then I sped back once again to reality, over an expressway that couldn't get more sublimely sexy. If I ached for some romance when I was swinging and looking out at the rain-drenched city, my yearnings for it were ten-fold as I gazed out of my window at the lush-green hills and the silvery cascades gushing down the hillsides as the bus cut through a fine misty fog that gently covered the ghats. Reality met me in the face of a pick-up from the bus-stop by AR(yes I'm very pampered these days - sue me for it!), followed by a quick-stop at work, non-stop class for 5 hours and a surprise birthday party for a senior colleague (professor) at AFP who turned 60 yesterday - my first work-party and was it the greatest fun! ;-) Good company coupled with wine, vodka, food and conversation! This morning brought with it work and freaking real issues to be faced and dealt with once again! Phew - oh well, the break has me energised enough to tackle life anew!
Current Book:- The Girl From The Chartreuse - Pierre Péju
Current Music:- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper, I'll be There for You - The Rembrandts, Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye, Footloose - Kenny Loggins(thanks AR for burning that last CD for me)
Current Mood:- Wickedly Morose and Indifferent.
Activities:- As I said, I unwound totally - swinging gently, watching the world race past through a window overlooking my favourite park in the city or watching television. I discovered Sex and the City (yes, yes I'm slow in discovering such things - what to do I'm pop-culture deprived these days!) and had a whale of a time chuckling over the antics of Carey and co. I got totally mind-f***ed watching Closer on a rainy, romantic morning, when I should have been watching much cuddled in someone's loving arms (yes yes we don't need to remind that those loving arms still haven't made an appearance - gah!)! I rolled my eyes at the media reports of "baarish ki dehshat" that had the "yatayat thap" - pray tell me is it just the goverment and the civic bodies thata re to be blamed for the mess in that city? When are we as citizens going to take some responsibility? I "braved" the rains and let the "man" have his way (Muhaha), attempting to get to Bandra, when Juhu was water-logged only to turn around and come back to my "ilaaka" and head to good ol' Fame Adlabs for an incredibly ridiculous Superman Returns (please don't expect a review beyond this - "rolling my eyes"). I've had some amazingly delicious food - O Calcutta, Café Basilico, Pizza Casa, Café Biona and some very basic food - Swadesh, Appointment(!!) and Guju-ghar-ka-khana. I allowed myself to get buzzed by drinking wine too fast on a nearly empty stomach and I rejected Vodka - it simply doesn't excite my tongue enough to bother with it. I'll stick with my wine, cognac and smooth, hot-n-sexy liqueurs please! I've been made to walk, seriously walk in my completely-inadequate-for-walking sandals just because that's what we do when we are together (reference to bosom pal M). I've talked and talked till my vocal chords ached - I've giggled and chuckled and laughed over men, love and life...I realised that I've finally put my biggest mistake behind me. That chapter is closed. Finally. I finally gave into my urge to shop and indulge in retail therapy when I walked into Landmark, the awesome bookstore I've heard so much about, and bought books and music after many months. I followed that up, by picking up a sexy pair of trousers and a tee, when I was out helping a friend shop! Hehe!I got my hair chopped off - yes quite drastic this time. Actually short - shorter than it has ever been!!! I exchanged a crazy number of text messages and talked for quite a long time with friends back in the hamlet, all the time agonising over how my carefully maintained balance has been getting screwed with since last month - oh to hell with it, it's worth it!
Humans encountered:- Aristera, my graceful host who can get grumpy and chauvinistic at times and must be pampered but is on the whole one charming, adorable, huggable darling! A, my friend all set to fly off to the land of golden opportunities to pursue those dreams of hers - who I will miss more than I care to admit, even though I've tried hard to teach myself to live without her there everytime I turned around. M, who I have learnt to live without, as long as there are emails and telephones to pull into immediate use when that crazy voice is needed to inject hope back into my system - she still hasn't changed a bit! Extempore, the only friend outside the inner circle I deigned to meet (Muhaha!) - it felt good to indulge in some intellectual (ahem) conversation with her over Vodka, liqueur, pizza and Sex and the City! Got introduced to V, about whom I've heard plenty - now that I know that there is one nice person in that gang, I'm waiting to meet the others! (Hint hint)
....and then I sped back once again to reality, over an expressway that couldn't get more sublimely sexy. If I ached for some romance when I was swinging and looking out at the rain-drenched city, my yearnings for it were ten-fold as I gazed out of my window at the lush-green hills and the silvery cascades gushing down the hillsides as the bus cut through a fine misty fog that gently covered the ghats. Reality met me in the face of a pick-up from the bus-stop by AR(yes I'm very pampered these days - sue me for it!), followed by a quick-stop at work, non-stop class for 5 hours and a surprise birthday party for a senior colleague (professor) at AFP who turned 60 yesterday - my first work-party and was it the greatest fun! ;-) Good company coupled with wine, vodka, food and conversation! This morning brought with it work and freaking real issues to be faced and dealt with once again! Phew - oh well, the break has me energised enough to tackle life anew!
Current Book:- The Girl From The Chartreuse - Pierre Péju
Current Music:- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper, I'll be There for You - The Rembrandts, Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye, Footloose - Kenny Loggins(thanks AR for burning that last CD for me)
Current Mood:- Wickedly Morose and Indifferent.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Home
Misty roads led to the place where the heart is happiest - they said I'd take forever. I was home within three hours.
It's the sexiest weather. The skies are gloriously overcast. It's raining - pouring infact. From my vantage point in the swinging basket all I can see are trees beding under the onslaught of the showers. It's divine really. Sublime.
Last night was a fun-fun-fun night after oh-so-long. There was wine, cuisine par excellence at Cafe Basilico, good conversation (even girl-talk and guy-talk!) and friends. Happy - that's what I was last night. Just happy. The wine, I think, helped, but in general there was happiness in the air. Home in the rains, with my closest friends for company - little more could I ask for. Kept questioning it - it's been so long since I felt this carefree and happy. Happy. Yes I know I keep saying it...sssshhhh!
Strangely enough the overcast skies seem to have cast a shadow on my mood this morning...it's true I think, question happiness and you aren't happy any more!
On a happier note, though, am here for atleast two more days. Two crazy, fun-filled days I hope - am sure the mood will improve...and the downpour just got crazier!
It's the sexiest weather. The skies are gloriously overcast. It's raining - pouring infact. From my vantage point in the swinging basket all I can see are trees beding under the onslaught of the showers. It's divine really. Sublime.
Last night was a fun-fun-fun night after oh-so-long. There was wine, cuisine par excellence at Cafe Basilico, good conversation (even girl-talk and guy-talk!) and friends. Happy - that's what I was last night. Just happy. The wine, I think, helped, but in general there was happiness in the air. Home in the rains, with my closest friends for company - little more could I ask for. Kept questioning it - it's been so long since I felt this carefree and happy. Happy. Yes I know I keep saying it...sssshhhh!
Strangely enough the overcast skies seem to have cast a shadow on my mood this morning...it's true I think, question happiness and you aren't happy any more!
On a happier note, though, am here for atleast two more days. Two crazy, fun-filled days I hope - am sure the mood will improve...and the downpour just got crazier!
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