Friday, October 29, 2004
Ganymede and Zeus
The Rape of Ganymede - painting by Anton Domenico Gabbiani (1700)
This affair is believed to be a religious justification for homosexuality within Greek culture. Others state that it’s merely a reflection of Greek life at that time – Plato used this myth to justify his sexual feelings towards his male pupils. This myth did serve to increase tolerance for sodomy, which till then was only accepted as an external for of goddess worship – Rhea’s (Mother of Gods – also the Goddess of Caverns and earth in its primitive state, known in Roman mythology as Cybele) male devotees tried to achieve unity with her by castrating themselves and dressing like women.
In the 19th century, homosexuality was attributed to moral degeneracy, mental illness and 'congenital anomaly'. Come 20th century, we are still not completely rid of such theories, but scientific research done on the subject states hormonal imbalance, psychosocial influences and biological factors (difference in brain structures & genetic reasons) named as possible suspects.
The most interesting reason (according to me) was the one given by Appollodorus (Greek historian and scholar, to whom the ‘Bibliotheke' or Library of Greek mythology is attributed). According to him, this myth emphasized the victory of patriarchy over matriarchy, showing that men don’t need the attentions of women and they did not need women to exist!
*Gags in disbelief*
Whatever the reasons behind homosexuality, the question that nags most of us is whether it is normal?
But then what is normal?
That, which is accepted as the norm by the majority and enforced on the minority? That which comes “naturally”? Or that which the Gods intended us to be? And if the Gods themselves indulged in homosexuality…umm?
All said and done, I say - live and let live!
Sources: Mythology – Myths, Legends, & Fantasies, Ed. Parker Janet, Stanton Julie
© Global Book Publishing Pty Ltd, 2003
"Ganymede." Encyclopedia Mythica from Encyclopedia Mythica Online
[Accessed October 29, 2004].
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Beauty and the Beast
Perhaps this helps to explain, why Eros is often depicted as a little boy who never grows up.
(The myth of Eros-Psyche and Psyche’s ordeals is worth reading!)
Source : Mythology – Myths, Legends, & Fantasies, Ed. Parker Janet, Stanton Julie
© Global Book Publishing Pty Ltd, 2003
The Missing Half
Source: Mythology – Myths, Legends, & Fantasies, Ed. Parker Janet, Stanton Julie
© Global Book Publishing Pty Ltd, 2003
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Buzzing with Ideas & Thoughts...
Anyways so here I am – after a rather interesting week. Lots of reading up online, sparked off by some gyan-search needed for my AF exam which kind of spread out, with some attempts to study and a successful effort at organizing my notes. Had planned to visit Bbay this weekend and have some much-deserved fun now that Kunu has officially shifted back to Bbay (I envy him big-time!), but my BP played truant and dipped low (54/90 - horror of horrors!) forcing me to stay back….the mood-swings oscillating faster than a pendulum didn’t help matters much! So now I’m under the scrutiny of Mommy dearest who’s doing her best to pump Vitamins into me – atleast she can’t complain that I’m not eating well – with the amount of weight I’ve gained since I got back from Europe I have to now start thinking seriously of getting an exercise regime into action, if I hope to continue fitting into my size 24 jeans! Ah where went those days when I was ridiculously underweight? ;-)
Note on advertisements that caught my attention recently – The (Motorola?) SLIM advert annoys me. I find it quite disturbing that the advert promotes the ‘slim’ image for women – and we are trying to battle the growing incidences of Anorexia among young women?
The new Reliance phones advert makes me want to slap someone – could the girl have been portrayed more materialistic and silly? Gawd – but that couple is the heights!
On the other hand – the Tata Indigo Marina advert is very nice. Tasteful. Classy. And I love the way they wove the by-line into the story. "Because we like to carry the world with us" - I like! :-)
Right now
- I’m reading a book on Picasso – it’s a Taschen publication. I picked up the book from the Taschen outlet, Paris (yeps it’s been months since then) and started reading it last week to get the French flowing in my head! Though I didn’t quite comprehend Picasso's style of painting earlier, it’s slowly starting to make sense to me now and I'm regretting having missed the Picasso exhibition when it had come to NGMA (Bbay). Am finding myself increasingly interested in Art and with my preliminary readings I think I quite like the Impressionists.
- I’m listening to Billy Joel’s We Dint Start the Fire.
- I'm feeling very Smug and Content with today's shopping at FabIndia, my decision to send personally made cards this year for Diwali and my initial preparations on this new project - and finally having bought a nice book to jot down quotes/poems/gyan that catch my attention! The double dessert of Kheer and left-over Apple Stew just made that smile broader! :-)
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Being Twenty-Something
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook-ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out...maybe it will help to think that you aren't alone in this state of confusion...
GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US. " - Anonymous
- I received this forward a few years ago, when I'd just turned twenty and found it amazingly "spot-on" in its content...an ex-classmate from college sent it again today - and as I read it, I was struck by how many of the things mentioned have been experienced by me, and even catalogued in this very blog. Simply had to post it!
Friday, October 15, 2004
Amused & Bemused
"You are looking very Indian today"
- Eh? So normally I look like a....??? LOL!!
Current mood :- Very very nostalgic about my stay in Germany last year -October, November and December (the month I travelled to Sweden and France) - I soooooooo wanna go back to France...not to mention Magdeburg. I've been thinking about our apartment, the route to REAL/Karstadt, the trams, all those soirees with Annika...hope I can go back one day - preferably soon! :-)
The Spread of English or the Death of Native Languages
The world'll speak in Hinglish'
'One language is dying every two weeks'
They are worth reading - what he says about the spread of English and it's impact on world languages is highly pertinent and something that we should all be conscious of, since our generation is after all the generation that speaks a very hybridised language most of the time, and is losing touch with "Indian realities" in terms of language and culture very very fast...
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Ranting, Raving, Raging
Yesterday I could feel the difference in the ways the AF-Pune and AF-Bombay are run, more than ever before…I felt like telling my professor that THIS is why Bombay is a better city – this kind of unprofessional behaviour would never be seen in AF-Bombay. Schedules once fixed are not screwed around with.
Now you wonder why I’m up in arms about all this – I have no plans for Oct – I can give the exam as easily in Oct, as Nov or Dec…Heh…I’m just falling back on an old habit of taking up for classmates and crusading for their cause. I so hate it when people say “We can’t make adjustments for one or two people – you have to think of the good of the whole group” – yes, you do…but if you really mean that, then you wouldn’t mess up in the first place, would you? Hypocrites – banish them from the surface of the earth please!
Phew…I raged about this yesterday in class and later at home, while cooking up a meal for my dear brother, who’s been pining for an “English dinner” (read – no roti, sabzi, dal, chawal – but stuff that I cook!)…Ma got quite fed-up of me banging utensils around and hearing me rant and rave…Hahaha…but the catharsis sure feels good.
On a different note – Papa had accidentally broken the bottle of wine I’d bought in Bordeaux and was saving for a special occasion, when we’d just shifted into this place…I was really upset with him and didn’t speak to him for several days…the darling that he is, he asked his Boss, Dr Metzger to get 2 bottles of French red wine for me. And...the nice man that Dr.M is, he picked up pretty good wines – Provencal and Sauvignon…
Ok Papa I take back all those nasty things I said that day – you still are the bestest father in the whole universe!!!! :-)
R.I.P
Christopher Reeves – Superman – passed away 2 days ago, after a long struggle against the paralysis that had confined him to a wheelchair and forced him to survive on a respirator, after a equestrian accident.
Derrida, the founder of the Deconstructionist school of thought (which I studied in MA-II but still don’t under what it is all about!) passed away a few days back in Paris – the man definitely has an enormous impact on philosophy and the way literary texts are analysed today. Even though most of those who profess to understand him don’t really understand anything, he is a person you can NOT be ignorant of, if you’re in the field.
In India, we paid our last respects Mulk Raj Anand, one of the founders of Modern Indian English Literature, Shobha Gurtu who played an influential role in way Indian music developed and Arun Kolatkar, bi-lingual poet of collections of poems such as “Jejuri” and “Kala Ghoda”….
R.I.P
P.S. While on the subject of literature, I couldn’t resist making this small point – as I read about the latest Nobel Laureate, I couldn’t help but think that there is at least one person I know who would want to read “The Piano Teacher” ;-)
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Stressed...
When I began the course I thought it's a 6 month course with my exams in end Dec - that moved up to end Nov, and I assumed we'd have classes till the Diwali break, which starts from Nov6th...now suddenly I have to prepare myself for the orals which will be in another 3 weeks...doesn't help that this time one of the examiners will be the Director of AFP and our papers go to France for correction. Ah well, just an exam...so I've been moved into action sooner than I thought...and so the schedule has been moved around...nothing earth-shattering!
Remember my belief :-
Exam is just a letter word - so are "Life" and "F***" both of which are more important!! ;-)
I am a bit upset with the change in schedules though -hopefully the next (and my last level) at AF will start in Jan : Diplome Superieur. If that doesn't go as planned, then my plans for the immediate future are sure going to be screwed up royally...I'll be the dhobi ka kutta, jo na ghar ka hota hai na ghat ka...
*Crossing my fingers tight*
Friday, October 08, 2004
Puzzled...
1. Why Indians hardly frequent museums – shouldn’t museum visits be an integral part of every person’s childhood (& parenthood, for that matter), specially considering that as Indians, we pay a measly little sum of Rs.25/- at most museums, and that they are an excellent source of the country’s rich historical background & heritage culture, not to mention an “outing” for the little ones?
2. Why Indians returning from a stay abroad, or NRI’s visiting the “pyaara desh” for a holiday complain about the poor infrastructure, the bad roads, the slums and filth on the streets, the corrupt officials etc etc, when so many times it is there very people who throw every last vestige of basic civic sense out of the window, and carelessly spit on the road, litter the streets with assorted junk, and bribe the local pandu for breaking the signal without blinking an eye?
3. Isn't it time we shrugged off that “Hum to aise hi” tag and started doing something to make maximum use of the endless resources of manpower, natural wealth & culture, instead of merely mouthing inanities about all this at the annual beauty contests? That we started standing up for our own country when someone blithely criticizes it, instead of shame-facedly apologizing for it’s faults?
Hmm…
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Ick
Ick Ick Ick
I want to go back to B'bay!!
Monday, October 04, 2004
TOI Reports
Frequently Flying to Cancer Zone
( I know plenty of people who fall in the category of frequent flyers - my father used to be one himself, though he didn't fly trans-atlantic often, and this sure made me sit up and take notice....)
Do We Deserve the Taj? - Bachi Karkaria
(The Taj - a monument we are immensely proud of, and which has been the the centre of much discussion recently; whether it was Mayawatiji's plan to build a mall in its background, which my German friends nicknamed 'Aldi Mahal' - sacrilige I tell you - or our lack of efforts to preserve the monument etc etc...we all have read and heard much about it.
Basically, you know what she has to say, but it's the way she says it. The language, the articulation of thoughts, the subtle but effective sarcasm...she actually uses words like 'mofussil'....she kills me! *Chortling with glee!*
The innumerable, annoying adverts on the site take away some of the joy of reading a Karkaria write-up, nevertheless this is one article of hers that you've got to read! Me -I'm cutting it out and saving it!)
Un Mosaique
Spent the weekend translating stuff from English to French – my first assignment – was up till 1.30 am last night finishing it off and by the time I wrapped it up, I was feeling like even my dreams would be in French ! (That didn’t happen mercifully!) I have never used the dictionary as much as I did in the last 3 days – and I couldn’t even curse the copywriter for using such ornate & embellished language, since it was me who wrote the stuff in English also! Or wait, who’s to stop me from cursing? Ha!
I could have finished the work by Sunday evening but Daddy dearest summoned us to his factory in the hills (he’s a workaholic, so don’t be surprised that he was there EVEN on a Sunday!) coz he wanted Bhaiyya to take some photographs – we were supposed to be there for just half-an-hour, but ended up spending over 3 hours there till the work got done. Spent the time exploring the place – it’s huge so I managed to while away quite a lot of time in that. Then took Schnapps out to run around…peered over the walls at the adjoining fields, trying to figure out what it is being grown – could make out tomatoes and brinjals…went back in and tried convincing papa to buy “fresh vegetables” from the farmers and got chased away. LOL! I didn’t give up – I was back a few minutes later with a list of questions about what is being done, why and how – turns out they were making the work-stations for LG Mobile that is apparently going to produce the first GSM phones to be manufactured in India. Since the machines used for this produce a high amount of heat, the tables were also being fitted with exhaust-fans at the back…hmmm…interesting.
Oh btw - I think if I end up with a guy who has a genuine 9-5 kinda job, I won't know what to do with him...am too accustomed to my father & brother staying out of the house for a minimum of 12 hours and want to throw them out of the house when they are on a break of more than 2 days! LOL!
On our way back, it was all dark and I couldn’t make out any of the rolling green countryside dotted with patches of yellow and orange wild flowers, which makes the drive to the factory so pleasant – we stopped for dinner at a restaurant in the IT Park of Hinjewadi. What an experience – the place is obviously very popular with the new breed of highly paid BPO employees and IT consultants and after having sat in a room full of them, I’ve come to this conclusion : high salaries don’t necessarily come packaged with basic etiquette of social behavior. The amount of noise those guys generated – all we wanted to do was gobble our food out and escape into the silence outside!!!
Hmmm....
Was seeing Stewart Little II on *Movies on Saturday night, and noticed something – the NY cabbie, in the scene where the Elder Littles realise their darling Stewart is out in the big bad world and set out to rescue him from the falcon, was an Indian who keeps saying “Okie-dokie, no problem” in the most obnoxious irritating accent. Feeding the stereotypes about Indians in NY????
Also saw the new Brit comedy “Coupling” on *World – BRIT COMEDIES ROCK!!! You can’t miss this one – its outrageously funny and will keep you in splits! I’ve seen it thrice and each time I’m rolling on the floor laughing my ass off! :-)
Currently nostalgic about M*A*S*H* and Karma Chameleon!!!
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Bonne Anneversaire....
The day was quite good, despite the fact that I’m sitting in this town far-away from all my friends. At AF Pune you have to take a cake to class if it’s your birthday – so I baked a huge cake the previous day. Class takes off a light note, and our Prof is persuaded to take on something fun and not stressful. And plus we try our level best to sing “Bonne Anneversaire…” in the right tune!! Hehe…;-)
Plus all those e-cards, SMS and telephone calls made the day as special as it could possibly be. I know I have my share of eccentricities and have driven most of up the wall with my quirks and idiosyncrasies, my stubbornness and my absurd expectations, not to mention the fact that I’ve forgotten to wish many of my friends on their birthday this year– that they still count me as part of their life and remember my birthday means a lot to me! :-)
Phone calls filled my evening – and then we went for dinner. I decided to abandon my usual favourite Mainland China this year and chose La Dolce Vita, having seen a tiny advert for the restaurant in Pune Times, thinking it would be a nice cozy little Italian Restaurant. Nice it was – but definitely not small or cozy. The advert gave no indication of how fancy the place would be – needless to say I loved it! Gourmet dinner, wine, cheese – an absolutely divine ambience – oh yes I loved it! As Bhaiyya commented, “Trust Geetanjali to pick a place like this for dinner – and who else, but her to polish off the cheese platter and the wine!” LOL! Goes without saying that dinner at La Dolce Vita was the icing on the cake for the day! ;-)
Sunday, September 26, 2004
At Peace...
Far from sleepy, I wandered around the house with a candle in my hand – and all of a sudden remembered the music video “Aa ja re” which featured a ghost walking around town with a candle, singing the haunting melody. Heheh…promptly set off in the direction of the other bedrooms a la Ms. Ghost trying to sing “Aa ja re…mere dilbur aa ja”…freaked everyone out, more by my attempts at singing, than by my ghostly appearance (or lack of!) – hahaha! Fun! Whiled away some more time, sending SMS to friends, but ended up sleeping pretty early, after my candle got extinguished by a gust of wind.
This morning I woke up to a wonderful day – the heavens seemed to have been washed clean with the night’s storm; azure skies greeted me when I drew the curtains apart. A gentle breeze was accompanied by the chirping of birds and the smell of the damp earth (best expressed by “saundhi gandh”). One of those birds visited our balcony and was fluttering around our plants. I took a picture when it rested on the railing for a few minutes. Quite a fascinating bird – it has what I’d call a “pyaazi” colour, a longish sharp beak and the undersides of its wings has a dash of green! Sadly I couldn’t capture that in the photograph.
All this put me in a wonderful mood immediately, and I began the day by listening to the 2 CDs I picked up yesterday – The Essential Billy Joel and Storytellers (18 of the Biggest Hits of All Time). A lazy breakfast of French toast & coffee was followed by a lazy perusal of the Sunday papers…:-)
Now this is what I call a nice weekend!
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Random Rambling
Me?
I sat up, disoriented for a while, yelled at Schnapps who was barking outside the bathroom door like Sherlock Holmes out to solve the mystery of the strange noise emitting from the bathroom, rinsed my hair and then washed my clothes! Ah the joys of having clothes that can’t be put in the washing-machine with the rest of the clothes, because they bleed so much!
Emerging from the bathroom I told mommy dearest that I had a fall; she asked if I want to go to class and I said “Ofcourse, why not?” Later as I sat in the bus and started feeling the beginning of a headache, backache, leg ache (so and so forth) I realized why she had asked me to stay home! Smart, ain’t I? LOL – and the bitch that I am, I thought to myself that if I’d been one of my cousins (I’m being prudent by not naming anyone) I’d have fainted in the bathroom, at the least sprained a few limbs and been carried around and fussed over for atleast a week. Sigh – not my style though. All I do is swallow a Dispirin, continue with the day as planned and blog about my misfortunes!;-) Hahaha!
Thought for the Day :-
Why do women in Indian insist on seeing a “Lady Doctor” when, who they really want to see is a Gynecologist? Is it some kind of miscomprehension on my behalf when I fail to immediately connect a “lady” doctor with a gynecologist? I so fail to comprehend why an educated woman of the 21st century insists on using Victorian euphemisms for such issues. Some of the analogies they come up with are so ludicrous they should be awarded for their ingenuity and creativity!
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
A Jeremiad
A few weeks back my friend Kunal was here – he came back with me after my last trip to Bombay & stayed a week. It was so nice having him around, being able to talk him at the end of the day that now the enforced isolation is grating even more. I have never been an extrovert and always found it difficult to strike up a conversation with a stranger or get acquainted with new people; it’s harder at this age than ever before. Friends from childhood may have drastically different temperaments, interests and lifestyles – but they are the people you grew up with. So the differences just seem to fade away when you’re together. Frankly if I were to befriend someone today, the person would have to think on the same wave-length as me, atleast 50% of the time, or else we’ve got to share a great chemistry. Call it a failing in my personality, but I simply can’t get myself to “make friends” with people I meet – just like that. A question I face very often these days : “So have you made any friends yet? There must be people your age in your colony or in class.” It'snever been more difficult to explain that I don’t “make friends” so easily, that I’m not a vibrant, out-going person. *Sigh*
I miss my friends more than ever these days – I always knew that we’d go different ways after graduation/post-graduation, but when the distances grow, and more and more friends seem to live on the other end of the globe, the world seems to become increasingly lonely.
Monday, September 20, 2004
Historical Facts About Ancient & Modern Afrikans
History also suggests that correct, historical information empowers a people, while incorrect, a historical albeit mis-information only leads to the powerlessness of a people."
Last year while studying New Literatures in English, we studied the works of several African theorists and authors and I learnt many things about the "Dark Continent" that were previously unknown to me - for instance, till then I hadn't the faintest clue as to why the borders of African countries are so straight as if drawn with a ruler. It's because they were drawn with a ruler - at the Berlin Conference, 1884, when European colonisers sat at a conference table and cold-bloodledly drew lines across the continent, dividing it amongst them, without sparing a second's thought to the havoc they would wreck over tribal communities across the land. It's also the reason why so many of them speak a European language in addition to their native tongue (which also faces the danger of being wiped out)...
Today, while doing a French assignment on "Asterix and Cleopatra" (of all the things) I came across a very interesting site, compiling facts about the Afrikans, most of which were unknown to me. While the entire page is worth reading, these two retained my attention :
- The stark historical reality is that during the B.C. era when the Emperor of Rome, Julius Caesar, had a sexual liaison with the ruler of Kemet (Egypt), Queen Cleopatra VII, a son named Caesarion was born on 23 June 47 B.C. in Kemet as a result of that sexual encounter. However, what is historically vital and relevant is that the birth of this boy child, Caesarion, was not a natural birth. In other words, the High Priests of ancient Kemet had to perform a special surgical procedure to deliver Caesarion; this surgical procedure that the ancient Egyptian High Priests/physicians performed in 47 B.C. to deliver Caesarion is what is called the “Caesarean Section” in modern A.D. medicine today. The ancient Egyptian High Priests named their medical procedure in honor of Caesarion’s father, Caesar.
- The ancient Egyptians had a test for pregnancy. A woman was asked to urinate daily on two cloth bags, one containing emmer (wheat) and the other barley. If both germinated she was said to be pregnant, if neither did, then she was not. It has been known since 1927 that a particular hormone is present in the urine of a pregnant woman and so modern pregnancy tests are based on this ancient Egyptian medical practice. The ancient Egyptian doctors first tested the effect that urine had on grain simply because they associated grain with life and they expected that a woman who was carrying new life would have a spiritual affinity with the grain. They therefore observed then what medical science only knows today that the urine of pregnant women can sometimes cause grain to germinate, whereas that of women who are not pregnant always causes it to wither.
(Courtesy : Historical Facts about ancient & modern Afrikans)
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Philistine
n.
1. A member of an Aegean people who settled ancient Philistia around the 12th century B.C.
2. A smug, ignorant, especially middle-class person who is regarded as being indifferent or antagonistic to artistic and cultural values.
3. One who lacks knowledge in a specific area.
adj.
1. Of or relating to ancient Philistia.
2. Often philistine Boorish; barbarous: “our plastic, violent culture, with its philistine tastes and hunger for novelty” (Lloyd Rose).
Etymology:
From Middle English Philistines, Philistines, from Late Latin Philistn, from Greek Philistnoi,
from Hebrew Plitîm, from Pleet Philistia.
It has never been good to be a Philistine. In the Bible Samson, Saul, and David helped bring the Philistines into prominence because they were such prominent opponents. Though the Philistines have long since disappeared, their name has lived on in the Hebrew Scriptures. The English name for them, Philistines, which goes back through Late Latin and Greek to Hebrew, is first found in Middle English, where Philistiens, the ancestor of our word, is recorded in a work composed before 1325. Beginning in the 17th century philistine was used as a common noun, usually in the plural, to refer to various groups considered the enemy, such as literary critics. In Germany in the same century it is said that in a memorial at Jena for a student killed in a town-gown quarrel, the minister preached a sermon from the text “Philister über dir Simson! [The Philistines be upon thee, Samson!],” the words of Delilah to Samson after she attempted to render him powerless before his Philistine enemies. From this usage it is said that German students came to use Philister, the German equivalent of Philistine, to denote nonstudents and hence uncultured or materialistic people. Both usages were picked up in English in the early 19th century.
I spent the entire weekend trying very hard to remember this word - like my dreams and goals, even this word seemed illusive and out of reach. Was quite frustrated and as a result I spent quite a few hours indulging in self-pity and as usual I digressed from the main issue and started wondering how people can be content with mediocrity in life...
This morning I woke up - and the word was there! Right there where it should have been - within reach and easy to access! Hallelujah!!! I'm feeling nicer about myself today - and I think I can wait for a few more years before writing myself off! After all, I have miles to go before I sleep! ;-)