Addicted to...

...love?

You wish.

I'm addicted to the virtual world of emails, inane faceless chat conversations on instant messengers and (horror of horrors) status messages on Facebook! I sign in eagerly every morning, afternoon and evening to see if I have new email, chat with friends (sometimes just an hour after having met them or spent the entire day with them) and waste so much precious time on Facebook. Sure I also work online and am constantly browsing and looking for more erudite things to read, but when I think of the time I spend in front of my laptop simply idling away time or waiting for that one email, I am most appalled! The peak of my addiction to the Internet was in 2000 when I would spend all day online, sometimes even skipping meals to chat with friends in the US. Reality hit big time when I fell ill and I cut down on my Internet time drastically. I wouldn't say I was disconnected but the importance I had given the Internet in my existence had definitely been put in the right perspective.

Cut to 2009 and I find myself leading a pretty solitary existence where very often the only conversations I had in the whole day were virtual...and the devil rose it's head again. Six months later, I find myself unbelievably addicted to the Internet...so much that I sometimes spend the entire afternoon in bed with my laptop on my lap, shift to the table in the evening only to be back in bed after dinner - once again with my laptop for company...and I find another day has gone by without my having so much as touched the books piling up on my bedside table and in my bookshelves waiting to be read.

Last week, I spent the entire day with the girls. The morning spent in a flurry of activity didn't leave me the time to login (thankfully) and I got back in the evening with a pleasant after glow that only comes after a wonderful day chatting, giggling, window-shopping and seeing an absolutely crazy film with friends...and I immediately got online! It was a beautiful day, the rain coming down in sheets - ideal for an evening snuggled in a cozy blanket with a book and a huge much of hot chocolate or coffee! But what did I do? I spent it in front of the laptop! I was going to do the same this afternoon, only to pull myself up. My excuse in France was the lack of any company/alternate activity, especially in the initial months when it was too bitterly cold to be doing much outside the haven of the heated room. Can I dare hide behind a similarly concocted excuse now?

I wish...

But since we've already established that wishes do not exactly work the way we want them to work, I had to run a reality check and reprimand myself for being so weak and giving in to the temptations of the darker pleasures! And so I got into bed with A History of the French Language Through Texts and spent a delightful few hours lost in the history of the language. This evening I sternly put aside the little box once I had finished the task at hand and settled down to watch an old favourite Sister Act, before seeing to my dinner.

The first step has been taken. There will be withdrawal symptoms and temporary setbacks, but I know I can do it. *Patting myself encouragingly on the back* :-)

Currently listening to Shout from the OST of Sister Act