Link Me

Sometime back a very dear friend from Deutschland sent me this blog-link to check out and maybe follow up - Tales to astonish - 100 things about the Retropolitan. It snagged my attention. I recently started compiling the list - it's quite an exercise in getting to know myself! :-)

Today she sent another really interesting link to the 50 Book Challenge...I wonder if I should take this up? Perhaps it will add the much needed accelerator to my book-devouring pace.

Another Blogwhore succumbed to the temptation and started her own blog. Kitana - you've read her comments. Now read what she has to say about love, life et al! Bienvenue to Blogger mon amie!

Soul Food

Well ideally speaking, it's loads of pasta (which I did have today) in creamy sauce, salads, cheese cake and chocolates, all washed down with some excellent wine. ;-) But for now it's music and books that are acting as awesome substitutes.

Swinging my hips, shaking my leg and grooving to the beats of -
Hung up (Madonna), Spun (Flipsyde), Someday (Flipsyde), My Humps (Black-Eyed Peas), We Be Burning (Sean Paul), La Torutura (Shakira), I Don't Care (Ricky Martin) and more...all thanks to World Space Radio :-)

I still haven't figured out on what channel and what time the classics are aired. There is Orbit Rock, but then they only air Classic Rock. Ah well, till I figure out, Vh1 fulfills my appetite for Retro music. Today's quota included Dressed for Success (Roxette), Addicted to Love (Robert Palmer), Crazy for You (Madonna), Father Figure (George Michael)....

Devouring my book on mythology. The more I read, the more I realise how less I know and how much I still have to learn. Why didn't I realise this earlier? Like maybe when I was in college, or even better way back in school? For now, I must placate myself with the adage Der Sahi, Andher Nahin.

Did you know how the Egyptian custom of embalming the dead came into being? It started off with Osiris - Pantheon has a small write-up. Not very satisfactory but it does shed some light on the origins of the custom. Wikipedia has a little more to offer...but then it is Wikipedia after all!

From Mary Shelley's Workshop of Filthy Creation...

The weekend was quite dreary - apart from class on Saturday (which I realise will be quite an exciting challenge once my predecessor leaves) nothing else brightened the days. To add to the general sense of gloom, I spent Saturday evening glued to the television watching Kevin Connor's adaptation of Frankenstein on Hallmark.

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein was one of the few novels I truly enjoyed studying for M.A - I normally don't enjoy the classics. Appreciate them yes, but enjoy them, hang on to every word till the last page? Rarely. It was the postmodern, postcolonial and feminist texts that really got me going. Frankenstein, though popular under the genres of science-fiction and female gothic, has many sub-texts and deals with mythological, religious, psychological and postcolonial themes as well. Voila - can it get any more exciting? I spent many an hour in the University Library poring over Ellen Moers' The Female Gothic, Gilbert & Gubar's The Madwoman in the Attic: The Woman Writer and the Nineteenth-Century Literary Imagination and hunting down reference books dealing with the novel.

I'd earlier seen Kenneth Branagh's adaptation starring Robert DeNeiro - admittedly it was a far more dramatic and faster-paced adaptation, but the one I saw on Saturday captured perfectly the sense of fear, dread and horror that the novel inspired in me. Gloomy or not, I'm glad I caught the movie :-)

On a different note, I had to pen a script for the kids to enact at the Christmas party hosted by Alliance Française de Poona each year - it's been a long time since I indulged in any creative writing ;-) LOL!

For those of you who can understand even basic French I've put it up on France Say. Take a look!

In Quest of the Holy Grail

Like always when I'm in need for serious self-esteem boosting, I turn to books and I study - yes yes I know sounds bizarre. Some people turn to friends, others primp and go out and party - I burrow myself into books, read up on a subject that's always been of interest but never knew enough about it and get those grey cells racing. Books gracing my bed-side table as of now:
1. Mythology – Myths, Legends, & Fantasies, Ed. Parker Janet, Stanton Julie© Global Book Publishing Pty Ltd, 2003
2. France - Paysages. Visages. Lumieres, © Michelin, 1998
3. Picasso - Metamorphosis 1900-1972, © India Book House Pvt. Ltd, 2002

I finished with Greek & Roman mythology sometime last year and had shelved my book on Mythology in pursuit of fiction. I picked it up again this week and began with Arthurian legends, moving on to Egyptian mythology...

While reading the Arthurian legends, I but naturally came across the legend of the Holy Grail and I thought to myself, "Aha a topic of great interest to even one who couldn't care less about Arthurian legends et al, after the run-away success of Da Vinci Code..."

So here I am, with an tiny bit on the Grail - and yes for those of you who didn't know, the quest did exist before Da Vinci Code (ducks for cover as readers shoot missiles) ;-)

The Grail

The Grail is a complex object and its origins go far back. According to ancient tradition, the Dagda, Irish father go, possessed a cauldron of inexhuastible bounty accessible only to the brave. Several Irish stories feature goblet-bearing maidens, like the Grail Maiden, who dispense sovereignty to worthy candidates with a drink. In one Irish tale, the sea god, Manannan, gives King Cormac a magical chalice that is ahsttered by falsehood and reunited by truth. The story's symbolism suggests that the chalice represents the vessel of self. The conception of the Grail as container of self is reinforced by the Welsh version of Perceval, "Peredur." In this version, Peredur sees the Grail not as a cup, but as a human head. Some traditions speak of the ancient Celts using skullsas drinking vessels, and in later symbolism the vas, the crucible used by the alchemist is sometimes identified as a skull. Thus, the Grail quest, is one symbolic level, a transformation process carried ouit within the mind.

There is some evidence that the Grail is also concerned with pagan feritlity rites - the idea of sickly land finding restoration only through the Grail, as well as the Celtic idea of a cauldron of plenty. Later the Grail came to be associated with Christain ideas of the Holy Spirit: the Grail as a metaphor for the body containing the Holy Spirit.

Source: Mythology – Myths, Legends, & Fantasies, Ed. Parker Janet, Stanton Julie © Global Book Publishing Pty Ltd, 2003

Read more at "Grail." Encyclopedia Mythica from Encyclopedia Mythica Online. [Accessed November 24, 2005].

Moving On...

Folks signed the papers confirming the sale of our Bombay flat last week - and with those signatures another chapter in my life came to an end. The longest and most cheished chapter, since that flat is the only home I've ever known. It seems wierd to some of my friends that I attach so much importance to a flat I've moved out of over a year ago, but that is the place I've grown up to become who I am today. Almost all my cherished memories have it as the backdrop - and now I feel homeless. Sure we are looking out for a place in Pune and it's going to be a bigger place where I'll continue to have my own bedroom like I do here (something I"ve gotten accustomed to, and now consider a necessity)...but I'd do anything to turn back the clock and go back to that 2BHK flat with a terrace bigger than the flat... too late for that now.

Guess it's truly time to move on, eh?

Damn Damn Damn

Battling my old demons for the last few days - promised myself I'll survive this battle by myself. No reaching out for that shoulder to cry on, but today I'm exhuasted. If I won't talk about it to my friends, I won't deny myself this catharsis as well. Damn it! I can take only one thing at a time - them demons or PMS. Combined they defeat me completely - mind, body and spirit.

Damn damn damn!

Spammers Go Die!

Yes yes I know I keep saying Music is my Porn. That does not, I repeat DOES NOT mean I am into pornography. Some people enjoy it. Good for them. I don't. It does nothing for me. I do not want to be spammed with links for porn sites, nor do I want to know what I can do to get my man instant erection just like instant dosa. And no, I do not need to know how to enhance/enlarge my penis! Sure hotmail now has a bigger (enlargened if you like) inbox. And yes I do check my email everyday - sometimes several times in a day. That doesn't mean I have nothing better to do than to open my inbox just to delete spam mail! Stop spamming me for chrissake! Grrrrr!

Bonne Chance et Felicitations!

Friend is getting married this week - I wish I could have gone. But I couldn't 'coz I start with a part-time job this week. My first step towards my goal. Don't ask me what the goal is, but you can ask about the job. I am going to be taking one of the batches of the children's course at Alliance Francaise de Poona. Nervous? A little - I'm not exactly an expert with kids. Excited? Yes very - suddenly I have lots of ideas about how to keep them involved and interested. Still don't know how I'll keep them disciplined but I guess I'll learn. The pay? Peanuts...but last I checked I wasn't one of those hunting for a job that turns me into a millionaire overnight. It's a start. I'll get there someday.

Wish me luck, people, for this new beginning.

Meanwhile my friend is going through the difficult phase of losing his bachelorhood. Ironically that isn't as much of an issue with him, as is the entire process of getting married in India with all our ceremonies and 'adambar' as he calls it...saying goodbye, bon voyage and all the best to him I felt a slight twinge of anxiety. Marriage may just take him away from me - he's one of my best friends. Probably the craziest, most stubborn and infuriating of the lot. Definitely the one I fight with the most. But also one of the closest. I hope I get along well with his wife...coz if I don't, I might just lose a friend.

I know he probably won't read this, with his scorn for my kind of blogging, but I wish you the very best mon cher ami. Always. I know the path ahead is probably strewn with thorns, but I also know you'll find your way through it to discover that treasure at the end...
Bonne Chance et Felicitations Titu Dada!

There Is Something Incredibly Satisfying About...

Spending an evening in the kitchen dishing out some of your favorite dishes. Pasta Salad tossed with tomatoes, onions, olives & mushrooms in Thousand Island dressing, Au gratin, Macaroni Hotpot...

Catching the Classics hour on VH1 and watching your favourite songs from childhood back-to-back. November Rain (Guns n Roses), Every Heartbeat (Amy Grant), In These Arms (Bon Jovi), Right Kinda Love (Jeremy Jordan), Never Forget (Take That), Rain (Madonna)....

Baking a cake - right from scratch. None of those ready mixes please! The smell of the cake filling the kitchen has got to be the most satisfying aroma ever...almost aphrodisiac if you ask me! ;-)

Washing up after baking - Ok don't look at me like I'm insane. I abhorr washing dishes normally, but when I'm baking, there's something incredibly satisfying about washing up the mixing bowl, the mixer handles etc while the cake rises behind me in the oven, and that smell...ok I've already spoken about that, haven't I?

Spending a day at a close pal's place just doing nothing...talking about nothing in general, making pots of coffee (some good, some worth washing down the drain) and guzzling it down over a ridiculous heated argument on an inane issue, patching up later over left-overs or take-out...

Walking down the beach all by yourself, letting the breeze run havoc through your hair, not botherng about the humidity making your skin shine like it shouldn't, watching the sun disappear as you perch yourself on a rock trying not to smile at the suspicious sounds emerging from the rocks behind :-)

Doing the same thing with friends - only not ignoring the wierd sounds this time ;-) and making up silly songs about how the rain is falling in paradise, and someone is your fire and you're the ice...yes, we aren't winning the award for Best Lyricists 2006.

Going for a long walk in the evening and returning wet with sweat - and then washing it off with aromatic shower gel under a hot, scathing shower. Ummm....follow that up with yummy home cooked dinner and curl up in bed for a dreamy sleep. Satisfying I tell you...

Ever...

Gone for a drive past midnight with two guys, one whom you've just met and the other whom you've met just twice before - and not once questioned the wisdom of your actions? (question probably not valid for all my readers, but what the hell!). Friend's friend, who I count amongst my own friends was in town and picked me real late - went for glorious drive upto NDA and back. It was awesome - even though they were swigging from a RC bottle straight up!

Spent almost an entire day sharing the passenger seat of an Indica with another person, so you're squeezed up against the gear-shift and have the lift your thigh every time the drier wants to shift gears (which is like every 2 minutes on Pune roads) ?

Dragged your friend to your favoured place in the city, only to find your friend leading the way? Bosom buddy was in town and I took her up the Tekdi - only to find her insisting we not take the beaten path up and thus leading the way as she picked her way through the shrubs...and then on the way down, with my marvellous lack of personal inertia, I was close to taking the quickest way down and had to resort to histrionics and grabbing hold of her hand in order to save my butt (not to mention pride)...yes, it is apparently my turf ;-)

Sat under a canopy of trees at a biforcation, watching rickshaws and scooters drive past as you hogged down the yummiest Upma in town and then sip garam garam chai...and then followed it up with a rigorous fight with close pal, to end it with orders to have good coffee ready by the time you got to his place?

Did a jig of pure unadulterated joy at reading an email from someone you adore beyond reason - just because the email confirmed that you do have some place in that person's life? That if you were to walk out without looking back, that person would try and pull you back? And then stare blankly at the compose window because you don't know how to frame a reply without letting go of the self-respect, pride and ego you've found with so much difficulty? Yes sometimes having an ego in a relationship helps - any relationship. Letting the other take you for granted isn't the way to a great relation with anyone. It's a lesson I've learnt the hard way.

Just logged in to quickly check if anyone remembered you an/or commented on your blog and later felt guilty about not replying to the comments...better yet, felt guilty about not blogging for so many days? ;-)

Yes that's just what happened to me the last few days - am actually at peace with myself after the longest time. The worries haven't really evaporated into thin air - there's still so much to be accomplished on all fronts and I haven't even started...but yes I'm at peace. Let it last - atleast for a while!
Amen...

Patience Bears Sweet Fruits

Ever noticed how some people always have a long wait before they finally get what they want and rightfully deserve? Sure, patience bears sweet fruits - how many times have I quoted 'Sabar ka phal meetha hota hai' to my friends who are fretting over things that refuse to move forward. But isn't there a limit to how much one is expected to patiently wait? And after all that patience, why doesn't the wait end with a sweet fruit, instead of something hopelessly bland, or worse incredibly sour?

Ho Hum and Then Some...

Diwali - it's the only festival I truly celebrate. I love to attack it full-throttle, starting with sending out Diwali greetings by post (I used to faithfully help Papa and then took over the task a few years back). Then came the cleaning up - I revelled in that. There's a deep satisfaction in dusting out ignored corners of the house, scrubbing clean the kitchen, reorganising the shelves and cupboards...a few days before Diwali I sent out egreetings and started helping Amma with the preparations of Diwali goodies. Gujiyas (or Karanjis as some people call them), Shakar-paras, Mathris, Laddus...and put up lights on our terrace/balcony.
Then there was shopping - new clothes et al... :-)

Diwali came with a bang - the entire day flew past in getting ready for the evening's pooja and dinner. Amma would scold Bhaiyya and me for being lazy, pull her hair out when Papa returned from the market with everything that wasn't necessary and nothing that was on her list :-) But in the end, we'd be ready by 6.30-7 p.m and sitting together as a family for Lakshmi pooja. The only ritual I enjoy and look forward to with enthusiasm.

This year was different. No enthusiasm. None of the zeal and joie de vivre I associate with the festival. I trudged through some of the duties, skipped others. Let's just say life got in the way?

But then Diwali came - bringing along Mama who I was meeting after two years. Activity galore. Dhanteras pooja at the Phoenix Mecano Factory, followed by a long drive through rolling hills to Mulshi Dam. Pretty. Shopping. Picked up something very different for myself. I still can't believe it isn't Cotton! Papa got me blinking lights - they stay off longer than they stay on, but they blink - that's what's important. We strung them up in addition to our usual string of lights :-) Diwali pooja - Shaurya also did his little bit. He wanted to eat the laddus, instead of offering them to the Goddess! He's a foodie already - and he's just 5 months old! Watched the fireworks - they are nothing in comparison to Bombay, but the bright side of that is that it's not as noisy either. Besides Pune could do with less pollutants in the air! Dinner at Chacha's house for a change - I missed our dinner at home. Chachi doesn't make Malpuas *sulking*

Bhai Dooj - Amma did tikka for her brother after aeons. I could see how happy the two of them were. We may not attach much importance to rituals, but sometimes they mean alot and make so much difference. Mama left today. The house feels slightly empty, but I've moved back into my room. Have to do something to get that cigarette smell out of my bathroom - I used to think the smell doesn't bother me, but boy does it bother!

It's a New Year by the Hindu calendar - I've started it with some resolutions. It's time to get my priorities straight and it's time to focus on myself. I've let thing happen to me for too long - now it's time to make them happen for me. He says I've become bitter. Perhaps I have. I am disillusioned. I don't believe I deserve this - I deserve better. I am going to get it. That's a promise to myself.

Amen.

MEN!!!

I seem to be surrounded with the choicest collection of the most stubborn, infuriating lot - and to think the ones I love the most are the most difficult of the lot.
Jesus does that say something about me?
*Appalled*

Random quotes about men that left me chortling with glee :-
Samantha: Men do this all the time. Women walk around thinking "we," and their version of "we" is "me"... and my dick!
(frm Sex and the City)

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
(Kathleen Misfud)

Weekend Update...

The axe fell this weekend.
Oh I fought it alright - with everything I had. Nearly bartered my soul to prevent the mighty fall. But it fell. Nothing I could do about it.
Wonder why I'm not feeling the pain yet?
Wonder when the pain of being severed will come...

On the other hand - it was a good weekend. Spent time with three of my most cherished friends. I have a great bunch of friends, you know. Eccentric in their own ways. Impossible to deal with at times. Stubborn, just like me. But they always come through for me - in their own ways. They are adorable. They are the best.

Because I Love Mornings - III

0530 hours, Mundhwa, Pune, India.

Four or five whistles go off one after the other. A few minutes later, I hear pipes being cranked up and then the pipes groan of satisfaction at being filled up after several hours of emptiness. I toss in my bed (if you can call a couple of mattresses on the floor a bed!) and snuggle deeper into my duvet. It's still dark outside and a little chilly too - it's too early to be up and about. I wake up an hour later, a smile on my face - I've just surfaced from a rather nice dream :-) I stretch out languidly remembering someone who said that stuff you dream about in the morning usually comes true...hehe, agar aise hua to uske mooh mein ghee-shakar! And then the baby lets out his alarm - OK time to get up. Rise and Shine. Wakey-wakey...unless ofcourse you'd rather spend another hour in bed trying to blot out the sounds of a little cherub excitedly spreading the news about a brand new day!

So I roll out of bed - only to discover my dog waiting patiently for that sign of wakefulness and be covered by a bundle of golden fur. Wrestling myself out from beneath him, I stumble over to the bathroom to brush my teeth. GAWD my mouth feels awful - note to myself, "do not get into a relationship in Pune, unless you want to reconcile yourself to a lifetime of no good-morning kisses before a mouth-wash. Triste, the effects of the air-pollution in this city." A rigorous brushing of teeth followed by mint mouthwash, and I'm ready to face the world.

I leave my room and immediately enter another world that is bustling with activity - my nephew is playing in his baby-seat, my mother and bhabhi are busy in the kitchen, making the morning tea and starting preparations for the lunch-boxes. My father is working on his laptop - and Shnapps has scamperd off to wake up my brother so he can go down for his morning-walk. I go make my own cup of Lemon-tea or Frucht-tee, depending on my mood and step out into the balcony to sip it in peace. The tea helps clear my throat - and keeps the pollution-caused phlegm at bay. The fog has started lifting and I can make out the hills in the distance...below me, there are several people out for their morning walk/jog, lots of children waiting for their school buses or shared-rickshaws - and on the tennis-court four gentlemen are warming up, while a couple of younger guys wait patiently for their turn on the court. A flock of tiny birds flies past and I wonder what birds they are...there are parrots, cuckoos, pigeons, sparrows and crows apart from a couple others that I don't recognise.

It's peaceful - slow and peaceful. I'm quite completely awake now, so I go back inside to see if anyone needs my help.

It's another new day :-)

Because I Love Mornings - II

From another morning, somewhere else - distinctly remember the lightness in my steps as my friend and I clambered up this hillock and perched ourselves there, watching the world slowly come awake all around us. :-)

Because I Love Mornings - I

0600 hours, 7 Bungalows, Bombay, India.

Honk. Chirp. Caw-Caw. I wade out of a restless slumber in a house that's not mine, yet so comfortingly familiar. Peeling open eyes that aren't ready to face the sunlight yet, I squint through the heavy curtains hanging at windows left open to let the night breeze enter the room and cool the room through the course of the night. I can't see much apart from hazy shapes in the distance - I fumble for my spectacles and put them on. My vision clears considerably and I can make out the figure of a watchman clambering atop the water-tank in the building across the street. It's early - I can afford to lounge around for some more time. I fling my spectacles onto the bed-side console, and lazily stretch under the duvet. Yawn. Idly reaching out for my cell phone to check if there are any messages, I let the sounds of the morning wash over my senses. There is something comforting about hearing the city start to wind up it's machinery and get its act together for the day. Buses screech to a halt somewhere nearby - if I look out I'd probably see a bunch of Convent School students clambering into the bus, their backs bent under the weight of their heavy school-bags. That's the first batch - they will be followed an hour later by students of Maneckji Cooper, Jamnabai Narsee and AVM among others...

Beep beep. 0645 hours. Time to put on the water-heater. I scramble out of bed, pulling my camisole down over my waist and go do the needful, before coming to stand at the window. Below me the street is already buzzing with activity. The muncipality sweepers are trying in vain to sweep the street clean - they succeed in gathering most of the leaves that have drifted down the previous day and some other stuff that isn't as harmless. There's a van parked outside the local supermarket - some men are carrying huge cartons into the supermarket via its back entrance. A cycle parked round the corner has stacks of newspapers tied to the back. The flower seller runs across the street - he's probably running late in delivering the pooja-flowers to his clients. The vegetable vendor is busy arranging fresh veggies on his cart and the paan-wallah at the nukkad is greeting his first customers of the day - they are there for bread, eggs, cutting-chai (yes he even serves that) or cigarettes to round up that early morning walk! ;-) Voluptuous ladies in pastel salwar-kurtas and white Reeboks or Nikes bustle past, sweating profusely after their walk in Nana-Nani park - no doubt they are discussing their latest diet, or perhaps it's the latest 'designer suit' or 'kundan set' they picked up for the upcoming festival and wedding season.

I smile and push my hair out of my eyes...

Oh yes, mornings are the best part of the day :-)

Incomplete

I was in Bombay this weekend.

Nothing went the way it was planned. Nothing.

Objectives of the trip were left incomplete - so there is a feeling of being unfulfilled. Of being denied certain pleasures in which I seek comfort, peace of mind and yes, even a certain amount of hedonistic delight .

I want to go back and ensure fulfillment of such pleasures.

Time Shall Tell...

It was the most challenging exam I took since I took up French at Alliance Francaise - admittedly, despite my bravado and nonchalant attitude towards exams, I wasn't so sure about how I'd fare. Ofcourse I'd clear - I always do. I'm incapable of failing (except perhaps in Trignometry - how I hated it in school!)...but would I score enough to be able to tell people with a smile in my face and a dance to my steps when they asked me how I fared?

Results were announced a couple of days back - ofcourse I've passed. With flying colours, as they would say! ;-) I freaking topped - holy shit but I rock! Ok I don't really, but I definitely aced this exam - and I hope this is some kind of a positive sign of things to come in the next few days and weeks...

They say patience bears sweet fruit - and don't I love quoting that to people! Well, I've been patient. Bloody patient. Sometimes I surprise myself with how patient I've been. But now I'm nearing the end of my tether. I need stuff to start falling into place, or else I'm just going to give up...

I don't want to give up. I'm not that type of a person - am usually quite tenacious about things I set my hopes on. I wonder whether I will give up despite all the noise I'm making and all my apparent convictions on the issue...I hope I'm not disappointed. More than that, I hope I don't disappoint myself.

Hmmm...time shall tell. Oh yes, it shall!

C'est La Vie...

A year older....but no more closer to my dreams than I was last year. C'est la vie, I guess?

It was just like any other day, except that alot of my friends called and many more sent messages. And yes, I couldn't log in that day, or the next, so later I saw that even more sent emails and egreetings...and yes, left wishes on my blog :-) Thanks everyone!

Number 1, as my brother calls him, came and took me out for dinner. Indyaki it was for that evening. No longer as rocking nor as happening as last year, but they still serve good food. That's what is important in the end. Of what use is a hep-n-happening resto (or person for that matter), if they don't serve good food? Papa got back from Germany the next morning - I wonder when I'll go back! It also rained that day - and Pune got flooded and the few remaining roads dissolved some more! ;-) And so, mon cher ami stayed back at the risk of missing an important meeting with a prospective client the next day, not to mention class! Yes, he rocks. Yes, I wish I'd fallen for him instead. It would have been a great mistake ofcourse, since it would never have worked out and I might even have lost one of my best friends in the bargain...so it's good I didn't. So why am I talking about this? Just so you know my buddy's the best ever! :-) We went to Arthur's Theme that evening. Ananda - bliss. The way to Moksha, as Aristera would say. Yes that's how divine the desserts were.

Today was just another long, boring and lonely day at home...and I just capped it by watching Bridget Jones - The Edge of Reason - all by myself, cradling a rapidly cooling mug of coffee in my hands. I also want a happy ending! The waiting's killing...

Yes, c'est la vie...